Fear and patterns…

I have some important questions for you…(and you know I love using the power of questions!)

• What are you scared of?
• When you feel fear what is it about?
• What doubt grips at you and won’t let go?

Here’s the deal…

We all have fear and doubt, but I have a secret for you…

Normally WHAT we fear and doubt is a recurring pattern in our lives…

And this is what I mean…

Your fears and doubts may seem to be about different things, BUT when you really break them down, they are all the same 1-3 fears AND these fears have been the same for as long as you have had fear.

WHAT?

Do this exercise and you’ll understand…

• Write down your top 3 current fears RIGHT NOW.
• Now, look at those fears and ask yourself this –

“I know it seems like I am scared that (whatever it is you are scared of), but what I’m really scared of is that (whatever you are scared of) will mean that I  __________________ .”

Here’s a good example, let’s say you are scared you are going to have to declare bankruptcy, this is what your answers would look like…

“I know it seems like I am scared that (I will have to declare bankruptcy) but what I’m really scared of is that doing so will mean that I am a failure.”

So, what you are really scared of is being a failure…

• Now, I want you to take it a step further and ask yourself why?

For example: “I am scared of being a failure because then people won’t love me and I’ll be disappointed in myself (in other words you won’t love yourself).”

In other words, what you are really scared of, is NOT being loved (by yourself and others)…

NOW…

Here’s the important part…

• Look back at different times in your life when you have been scared and do the same exercise –

Chances are good that your whole life, you have been dealing with the same 3-5 patterns of fear.

The great part about this is that you only have to address those issues — the real fears to rise above them –

Hear me now –

It isn’t about the specific thing you think you are scared of now, it is about 1 of your base recurring fears — and once you identify that, you can move on!

Leave me a comment and let me know what your REAL fears are…

Go Big!

Kristen

Why do we choose less than 100%

Ok…so I have posted a few posts on living at 100% etc.

What a hot button topic…

Some of you are angry that I ever said you could live at 100% all of the time — and that’s ok, but I would like to clarify something on that –

I think the anger came because it seemed that I was saying you should push yourself too hard all the time and wear yourself down –

Please understand this…

That is NOT what I’m saying!

You can’t run a race horse 24/7 — so when I say you can be at 100% all of the time, I mean that you can be 100% present in whatever it is you are doing — even if what you are doing is recovering and sitting on the couch drooling on yourself…

That’s my point — be present in whatever you are doing 100%

Now, some of you weren’t angry at all and got a big wake up call — COOL…

And from those people, one of you asked a great question and that is the purpose of this post…

The question was something to the effect of, “Why do we choose less than 100% even when we know choosing that way will keep us from our dreams?”

Aha! Like I said, GREAT question…

And my response…

(Well, I’ll be honest, I’m going to write a lot more on this later…)

I want to know why YOU think we choose less than 100% even when we know it isn’t going to get us where we want to go…

So, leave me a comment — and rest assured, I will be writing a whole post on this question, (and I’ll give you a hint — comfort zone, fear of change, fear of success and subconscious blocks all play a role)…

Can’t wait to hear what you have to say!

Go Big!

Kristen

90% are you KIDDING me?

YIKES!  I was just watching “Design Star” and one of the designers did a terrible job –

When it came to the part of the show where they have to defend themselves or face elimination, the judges asked her what grade she would give herself…

Now, she obviously thought claiming how badly she had done was the only way to go, so she gave herself a 60% as a grade…

Okay…no big deal, we all have bad days and at least she claimed it…

Now here’s the part that made me leap from my chair to come write this post…

She was eliminated, and during her final interview, she talked about how upset she was with herself for putting in a 60% effort because she is normally a 90% person…

90% — Are you kidding me?

Listen, you aren’t always going to get amazing results with everything you do, but do you want to be someone that gives 90% or 100%?

Seriously, is 90% acceptable to you?

Now, please realize I know that there are days where your 100% will be significantly different than 100% on other days –

For instance, I was feeling under the weather the other day, so my 100% was hardly the same as it is when I am at peak and feel great…

But the fact of the matter remains…

This is YOUR LIFE and you are either going to invest yourself 100% or less than 100% — so which is it going to be for you?

This may seem like tough love, but it’s because I know the path to you having an extraordinary life is by putting yourself 100% into your life — remember, this isn’t about results…it’s about how invested you are!

Leave a comment on this one and pass it along to anyone you thing might benefit from it!

I value you 100%!

Go Big!

Kristen

Would you let someone talk to you like this?

I am amazed at how often we will beat ourselves up and say things to ourselves that we wouldn’t let anyone else say to us…

If someone walked up to you right now and told you how stupid you were and how you were screwing up your whole life, would you let them talk to you like that?

NO — you would defend yourself, you would walk away, you would get angry — or a million other responses, but chances are good that you wouldn’t just sit there and take it…

So, why is it ok for you to talk to yourself that way?

This is so important…

I’m all for wanting more and wanting to get out of procrastination and all of the things that hold you back, but telling yourself you are stupid or weak or a failure isn’t going to help!

• Be careful with yourself…
• Be mindful of the things you say to yourself…
• Start to really pay attention to the snap judgements you make and how often you apologize or feel wrong or stupid –

You are extraordinary — that’s the truth!  And if you aren’t quite ready to tell yourself that, I’ll yell it from the rooftops until you are ready!

• Support yourself…
• Encourage yourself…
• Be kind to yourself…

You will have more successes if you do…

Leave me a comment — let me know how you can be better to yourself!

Go Big!

Kristen

Out of the box?

You hear it all the time…

1. Think out of the box
2. Get out of the box
3. Don’t get trapped in the box

You get the idea…

Well I want to make sure you are clear on 2 very important things when it comes to living out of the box…

1. The ‘Box’ isn’t the same for everyone

2. The ‘Box’ will change for you if you are really living out of it

Here’s the deal…

If you look at what most people would think is ‘Out of the box’ but it doesn’t push your comfort zone at all, then guess what?

That’s their box not yours and if you spend your life living out of someone elses definition of what the box is, you won’t ever live up to your potential.

On the other hand, if what someone else defines as “Out of the box” pushes your comfort zone so far that it will break and you try to live out of that box, you will be TOO uncomfortable and it will backfire.

So what do you need to do?

Figure out what “Out of the box” is for YOU!

Which brings us to the second point that you need to know…

Once you start living out of the box, the definition of “Out of the box” will consistently change for you because you are stretching and growing.

What does that mean to you?

That means — stay aware and keep adjusting your view of what “Out of the box” is to you!

Living “Out of the box” is essential if you want your life to be about growth and progression, but without these 2 important points you can get lost!

Leave me a comment — let me know what “Out of the box” is for you!

Go Big!

Kristen