The Question No One Asks – Are You Willing?

Welcome back to the current issue of the Law of Attraction Key Newsletter!

Today I am going to be bold and ask you a question that never gets asked – and yet, your answer is the absolute key to your success.

So, are you ready for the question no one asks? Here we go…

Are You WILLING to Change?

We all know that if you want to get something different from your life you have to be different and to be different. And to be different, it isn’t enough to act differently; you have to create different beliefs.

Willingness is a BIG missing step, and it is time we address it…

Willingness needs to be your first step and here’s why…

I know you are excited about transforming your life. I know you want it more than anything…

But are you willing – I mean REALLY willing — to be different? I want to help you understand the difference between desire and willingness and in this article; I’m going to share my journey and more so that you can transform your desire into willingness.

I am so excited for all that you are about to learn from this article – you’ll definitely want to read this to the end, and then – take action.

I so appreciate all of your online comments! You are helping me make sure this newsletter serves YOU and you are helping everyone else in the Law of Attraction Key community!

You’ll find a link at the bottom of each issue that leads you to our site to leave your comments and feedback – I encourage you to do so and share your voice!

Ok, let’s get started – I hope you enjoy this issue!

Life Mastery Is Yours!


When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny.

Paulo Coelho


The Question No One Asks – Are You Willing?

by Kristen Howe

When I ask someone if they are willing to be different, they usually laugh, look at me like I’m crazy and answer “Yes” without giving it a second thought.

Listen, here’s the truth – to have a different life, you have to be different than you have ever been before. You have to be the person that has the life you want, and I can pretty much guarantee that is going to seriously push your comfort zone.

Life transformation doesn’t come from finding the right business opportunity or falling in love or losing 20 pounds – life transformation comes in the person that we become as we create the life we desire.

So don’t be like most people.  Give this question a second thought and ask yourself honestly…

“Am I willing to be different?”

To help you really get a handle on this, I want to talk about what willingness really is. As I said before, willingness isn’t the same as desire and that is where most of the confusion comes in.

When you look up ‘willing’ in the dictionary this is what you find:


  1.  inclined or favorably disposed in mind – ready
  2.  prompt to act or respond
  3.  done, borne, or accepted by choice or without reluctance
  4.  of or relating to the will or power of choosing

Notice the key words here– Ready, Prompt to Act, Without Reluctance and Power of Choosing.

For our purposes, let’s come up with a more specific definition of ‘Willing’:

Willing (the NEW definition)

1: Ready to use the power of choice to think, believe and act differently, quickly and without reluctance.

With our new definition, can you see how being ready is different than being willing?

So, are you willing to be different? Are you really willing to let go of the attachment to the thoughts, situations, people, actions and more that are keeping you where you are?

When you know you desire something, you are ready, but change doesn’t happen until we become willing.  I know this goes against every instinct. I know how easy and common it is to feel that if you just knew what to do to change your life and live the life of your dreams then you would do it.

I know that because that used to be what I said – I said things like…

  • If I just knew the right people
  • If I just knew what action to take
  • If I had more money
  • If I had the right connections

Then I would do whatever it took to make it happen!

Let me share my journey into willingness. I was ready for years before I was willing. And it was only in the moment that I became willing that my life finally started to transform.

The day I became willing was the day I realized that I was about to lose everything I valued, my relationship, all of my money (or what was left of it), my dignity, my performing career, my health – I was going to lose everything if I didn’t find a way. And all I had was proof that there wasn’t a way.

All at once, when it seemed like it was all over, the strangest thing happened – in a single moment I decided. I didn’t decide anything profound about what I would do or how I was going to change my life, I just decided to become willing. Because if I didn’t become willing, if I didn’t decide that even though there didn’t seem to be a way and even if there was I didn’t have the time, energy or resources to do it, I decided that wasn’t an option. I decided to be willing to stop paying attention to the reasons I couldn’t. I decided to stop paying attention to how I wasn’t getting what I wanted no matter how hard I tried and how much I worked and how much I worried and tried to think of something else – and I decided to be willing to accept that everything that seemed to be true wasn’t and that despite all appearances, if I just let go of what seemed to be true and accepted that I didn’t really know what was going on, that a new way would be revealed to me.

Talk about a leap of faith. I literally decided to not accept all of the things that were threatening my very survival as the truth because they were the symptoms of the choices I had made so far in my life and I needed to make different choices.

So I did…that night I sent an email to a guru who lived in NY. I told him I was in NY as well and loved what he did and wanted to know if there was anything I could do to help him in any way.

This was an approach I had NEVER taken before…

To my surprise, he sent me an email back asking if he could call me. We spoke and he said, “I’ve never had someone ask me if they could help without asking for something in return…so, what’s in it for you?”

I said, “To be honest, I have no idea, I know that I like what you teach and I know that if I keep doing things how I’ve always done them, I’m going to lose everything. I have a business of my own that I’ve started and I guess I thought if I could help you in some way, I might get some ideas just be being around you that would help me grow my business.”

He told me he was putting an event together in NY but he was having trouble finding a space –

I told him I would take care of everything. Keep in mind, I had no idea what I was going to do – but the long and the short of it is that I ended up coordinating the whole event (and no, I had NO EXPERIENCE in anything like that) – it all happened in a dance studio and he was thrilled.

This isn’t a Cinderella story, I wasn’t a millionaire by the next weekend, in fact this is what happened – he thanked me and a week later he called me to bounce an idea off of me – it was a product he was thinking of putting together and he wondered what I thought of it. By the end of the conversation I had bought into the program. With this program, he had morning calls that he did with the people in the program – the calls lasted maybe 10 minutes, but it was so people would start the day focused and on fire, the calls were at 6 am – 6 am for a performer is VERY EARLY!

I had no idea what I was doing, but I knew I needed to do things differently than I had before, so every morning I got up and was on the call and I made sure he knew I was there. Eventually, he had me on an afternoon call to tell people about the focus and determination it takes to be successful as an actor – now that was something I knew about! I talked for a while and some people asked me questions and it was amazing because I knew I was helping them.

This whole time, more money was going out than was coming in – I was auditioning, but had recently decided to only accept lead roles so naturally slows things down – the bulk of my time and money was being spent trying to build my online business.

Then came the night that the world almost came crashing down – the straw had broken the camel’s back and I really was going to lose everything if I didn’t figure something out fast. I sent another email to my guru/mentor but this time I was bold – I asked if he had anything I could do for his company that could increase his revenue, but also increase mine. He called me right away. He asked if I had any sales experience. “Nope, but I’m an actress, so I’m good with people and I know how to handle rejection.”

He said he could give me leads to call to see if they wanted to come into the program I was in.  He told me he couldn’t train me, he didn’t have time, and we could test it for a week to see if it might be a good fit.  He said if you do ok, we’ll figure out a good percentage, but I can’t pay you a salary.

I said, “Okay!”

I had NO IDEA what I was doing but I knew I needed to figure it out – and I did. Ultimately he asked me to come on and build and run his entire sales floor and coaching program – and I did. And the rest is history…

The point to my story is this…

The day I became willing was the day I decided to do things differently than I had been doing them all along. I had to became willing to let go of everything I thought was true and realize that even though I had been saying I would do what it takes, there were many times that, if I was completely honest with myself, I would have to admit that I did know what to do, but instead of finding a way to do it, I found a bunch of very realistic and understandable reasons why I couldn’t do what it took.

The reasons why you can’t do what it takes will always be there – that’s the truth, so here are 4 steps you can take to help you starting right now!

1. Use Your History:

To help me on my journey, I looked for a period of time when things had gone right and asked myself what I did differently and the answer was that I said “Yes” not yes to everything that someone asked me   to do, but yes to opportunity, even when I didn’t know exactly what the opportunity was.

2. Stop looking at everything that is wrong:

There were a lot of things in my life that were wrong but constantly looking at them and saying, “See, it’s all wrong and no matter what I do or how much time I spend it stays wrong” – wasn’t working.

3. Ask yourself 1 question over and over again until you have successfully started to transform:

Here’s the question I would ask: “What would I normally do in this situation?” and then I did the opposite to make myself act differently and focus differently.

4. Give up trying to figure out how something is going to work and only focus on WHY you desire it.

Once you open up your willingness to see and believe and act differently, your whole world will change.  And if you are wondering where you need to be willing, you only need to look as far as where something isn’t working.  Start there and willingness will become your way of being and so will abundance and prosperity and joy!

As a special thank you,
I want to give you inside access to me and my VIP Program
for only $4.95!


Quick Tip Look Who’s Talking…
Let’s talk about some ways that you can discover what is blocking you – I want you to look at where you are in your life right now.

If you are willing to take responsibility (which is different than blame) for everything in your life right now, then what does where you are and what you are experiencing in your life right now reveal to you about what you truly, deep down in your subconscious, believe?

Now, look at what you want and ask if there people you respect who have the things you want? (Respecting the people you use as reference is important, because if you choose people you don’t respect, you will never do what it takes to get what you desire.)

Now, think of one of your references and ask yourself questions like this…

What are they like? What do they believe? What do they focus on? How do they handle success and failure? What kind of people do they surround themselves with?  How do they spend their time? How do they handle their relationships?  What are their ethics like?  How do they communicate?

What you are really asking yourself with all these questions is “who do you have to be to get what you want to have?”

This is a powerful exercise – I can’t wait for you to use it!

“Kristen,I want to give you a BIG “Thank You” for this email. It was an eye-opener for me. I wasn’t sure how to go about doing “my order”. I’m new at this & have been reading your emails very carefully & I know what “I want” but not sure how to go about it & your analogy was so clear for me that I am now sitting down & really thinking of that order & what I want in it & make sure it is clear.

Thank You so much!

— S.”

13 Responses to “The Question No One Asks – Are You Willing?”

  1. Olivier says:

    A very touching and illuminating exploration of the issue. I live the idea of doing the opposite to your normal reaction. Thank you for sharing this insight.

  2. Betty says:

    I had an immediate reaction go through me. Wow where do I start. I can really do this. How about an 86 year old lady changing every thing. It’s over whelming

  3. kenneth says:

    AWESOME, GREAT .Its so true you have to believe in yourself and just go snd do it.THANK YOU.

  4. Melvern says:

    Hi Kristen

    Thank you for a very touching and inspiring artcle.

  5. doughlas santos says:

    Thank you for the new expression of willingness….being a spiritual source seeker my entire adult life and an active participant in 12 step process, PTSD participant with 20+ Vietnam Veterans, and a disciple of a Vedic lineage, I fully appreciate the fact that all isn’t finished until that Truth knowing is fully experienced. An experience that can’t be put in words or is humanly rational. Here I am in my “senior” years and feel like a newborne in a very chaotic world of “what’s going on”. Change/expansion for me is the constant….and more times than most I just don’t ask why anymore. Consciously active in all my affairs will keep me keeping on.
    Thank you for your experience and courage to step up and out with a genuine heart and guidance.


    • Kristen says:

      Hi Ds 🙂

      Stepping up and out is easy when there are people like you genuinely looking to step into their greatness!

      I am excited to have you here!

      Life Mastery is Yours!

  6. Joe says:

    Your enlightening messages are vital to all of us, (Universal Spirits) Kristen! Thanks for making your web site and info accessible and so thrilling! lovenergy, Joe

  7. Lenea says:

    Wow, reading those words, did my make my heart race! It is exciting to think, if you do the opposite if what you’re used to, things…JUST MIGHT CHANGE! ? I’m not sure where to start either!? But to think of the possibilities…is over-whelming! Thanks so much for ht encouragement!

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