I have to write this post even though I know it’s going to make some people angry…
In fact I know that I will probably get a bunch of people riled up enough that they choose to never visit the likes of me or my blog again…
BUT I have to write it…
Why?
Because this one thing is causing people to live in misery and feel alone and defeated and I can’t stand it anymore…
That being said, it’s tough love time and this IS coming from a place of love…
Here we go…
Being a victim is only going to rob YOU of your life!
- I know bad things have happened to you, in fact some horrible things may have happened to you and I am not asking you to ignore that.
- I know people may not always be there for you or know what you need or consider you as they barrel through their lives…
- We (understandably) hold onto these things to protect ourselves from getting hurt again…
- Then we start to look for them even when they aren’t there…
- We stop communicating and sit around looking for proof that we aren’t important to the people in our lives or that we’ll never get what we want because we are too old or fat or thin or young or alone or stretched for time or money or, or, or…
At some point, being a victim only hurts one person and that is you!
All of the hurt that has happened in your life is only hurting you more if it defines every moment forward…
All the pain and alone serves to keep you alone because you won’t risk connection and communication…
The cost is great…
The cost is everything…
If you are ready to create the life you desire…
A life without limits…
A life with abundance and prosperity and love and laughter and adventure…
Then eventually you are going to have to stop hoping someone or something will come fix your life for you…
You’ll have to stop resisting love and connection and risk…
You’ll have to stop waiting for anyone you are going to give your love to to PROVE that they love you just because you’re you…
You’ll have to see that blame isn’t helping you anymore and that holding onto the pain of the past is keeping you in the past and keeping you from your life…
You are going to have to wake up one day (and only you will know when that day is) and decide that what has happened is over and you can start again NOW…
I’m not saying that the pain doesn’t suck and I’m certainly not saying that it is ok for people to knowingly hurt you and cause you pain…
I am saying that pain happens and you can become more because of it and you can still love and have everything you desire once you stop looking for proof of how awful and painful and lacking your life is…
I say this for you because I care…
I say this knowing that you shouldn’t do this UNTIL you are ready…
I say this risking that it will cause you to think I am blaming you and telling you that everything bad that has happened to you doesn’t matter (even though that couldn’t be further from the truth.)
I say this because we ALL need to hear it…and that includes me…
This is the key…
Everything bad that has happened to you up until this moment — it’s time to get over it!
Do it for yourself and no one else…
Do it to clear yourself so you can begin to live again…
I am not blaming or pointing fingers…I believe in everything that you are and I want you to experience yourself in your full glory…
I say this from my heart…
Are you ready to let go of the past? Leave me a comment and let me know!
Go Big!
Kristen
I agree totally, “bing a victim” is the ultimate excuse as being a victor is the ultimate virtue, no matter what. Well done, Kristen. NO anger here, just understanding. (I did not say “perfection”, just understanding.)
Josh.
Kristen,
Very very true. I know that what you said is what I am doing, but I have a lot on my plate and that I did to my self. When you are trying to get seven businesses prosporing,taking care of your 83 year old mother and helping your grown children it is really hard to change your mind thought. I truly am working on it and hope to overcome. What will it take, who knows! All I know it is important for me to keep moving forward.
I read the blog comments before the post, just to get an idea to what you were referring. I stopped blaming other people a long time ago, but only recently stopped blaming myself. Well, the only thing is I still blame myself, every time a bill collector calls and attempts to make me feel bad so that he(she) can get me to turn myself into a pretzel to pay that debt over the others that are so overwhelming.
When, oh when, will I again feel the blessings of abundance? My real estate deals are slowly coming to fruition. It feels as though time is the enemy. I know that everything is NOW, but the bill collectors don’t get that. How I experience what they say is, of course, my choice, but it feels lousy. What good does it do them to make me feel bad, if I am the solution and the means for their employers to get paid? Indeed, I can turn that around: What good does it do me to feel bad, if I am the solution and the means to pay the bills and gain financial freedom?
Rosemary
GREAT post, Kristen. Didn’t hurt a bit! Thanks, Ian
Dear Kristen,
Thank you very much Ms. Kristen for all the efforts; well appreciated.
Hi Kirsten!
Thank you for the post. I agree with you. I’m going read ti again and do as you said.
But there are times when pain is so strong it is almost inpossible to let it go. If my leg is broken, I can’t run. It has to be heald. If I’m hurt as a person I need to be heald. Sometimes forgivnes is needed, sometimes belive must be changed, …
I agree also! Someone ticked me off last week and insulted me (she’s helping me get my art out with contests but she can be pretty mean sometimes). She said I was’nt normal for my age, needed my head checked, I don’t understand anything and other things over a matter that was already settled with someone else (it was a small misunderstanding). This make me feel MUCH better. And I feel that I can move on from this. Thanks Kristen ^_^
Hi Kristen, thought I’d come back to tell you the good news. I went back and told her about the misunderstanding and why it happand and she understood and did’nt judge me anymore. I forgave her for last week and I feel SO MUCH better! As they say, forgivness is for ones self and helps one heal. Again Thanks Kristen. ^_^
By letting go of the past, we give ourselves permission/approval to receive the success in life we really want. My self, I need you to remind me to let go of the past and see my life as I did when in school. A life full of expectation of all the good things life has to offer. Bad things in life are sharp stones on barefeet, you are bound to find one once in a while. I am 65 and I enjoy your writings.
Thank You. You are awesome.
JD
All you’ve written is so true and honestly i don’t see how it can make people angry….thank you
Kristen, I’ve been studying/paying attention to the Law of Attraction for about 4 years. I am on and off with my study/focus. I am re-focusing again and being aware of my thoughts and feelings.
I have run into some real professional victims in my 47 years on this earth. A good number despise anyone who points to the possibility that perhaps they are manifesting their own reality. They want to put the blame on someone else, thus avoid accountability. I can no longer be around these people because I have myself, my husband, and my children’s future at stake here and thus, I must do what is right for me/us. I’ve come to the point where I have realized that everyone has their awakening moment and thus, just let people be who they are and if you can stand being around them, fine, and if not, move on and someone new will come along. Another situation will come along. Basically, what I’m trying to say is that sometimes you have to get rid of the garbage that’s stinking up your life.