Why Abundance Eludes You

Welcome back to the current issue of the Law of Attraction Key Newsletter!

We teach people how to treat us.  I remember the first time I heard that – and I remember being blown away at the idea of it. It was like lightening had struck me on the head, “Of course!” I couldn’t believe I hadn’t realized that before.

Having the “aha moment” and actually living it fully, are two different things. And that’s what I want to get into with you today. This is going to help you tap into the true source of unlimited abundance while shining a light on why certain manifestations still elude you.

Thanks to all of you who leave your comments – I am getting incredible feedback from people who were helped because of what someone else asked or said.  So, please keep the comments coming, you add so much when you share!

I also know that many of you have started sharing the articles and resources at the Law of Attraction Key Magazine with your friends and family and I REALLY appreciate that – we are raising the vibration of the world together – thank you!

Life Mastery Is Yours!


P.S. Let’s connect on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/GoBigCoach – I’ll see you there!


“When you love yourself, it becomes
so much easier to love others.
When you love yourself, you raise
the vibration of the world.
When you love yourself, you finally
know and receive yourself as the
miraculous being you are.”

— Kristen Howe

Why Abundance Eludes You

By Kristen Howe

We teach people and the Universe how to treat us. If you want abundance of any kind, you MUST love yourself completely and unconditionally.

The truth is this…

You can’t hold a sense of loathing and resentment toward yourself and expect others to love you as you want to be loved.  You can’t judge yourself as unworthy and expect the Universe to reward you with riches and joy.

I’m going to say something bold – and as this came to me to write to you, it resonated so deeply within me that I knew it had to be said…

Love yourself, accept yourself, receive yourself fully and without condition and abundance and prosperity will pour into your life.

What’s the Confusion?

As soon as I wrote the words, “Love yourself, accept yourself, receive yourself fully and without condition and abundance and prosperity will pour into your life”, I could feel confusion and outrage wanting to come to the surface.

Why? What’s the confusion?

And then it dawned on me – the truth of the statement is confused by what we were taught (or thing we were taught) early on in life. Let me explain…

It is easy to confuse what we feel we seek from our parents, loved ones, bosses, strangers and friends. We feel that we are constantly striving for acceptance and love, but that isn’t what it really is…

Why Abundance Eludes You

When we were born, WE fully loved and accepted OURSELVES. We didn’t need our parents for that. We didn’t need anyone else to tell us we were enough and worthy of great abundance, in the begining (even if it was just for a moment) we KNEW we were enough and were worthy of great abundance.

We needed our parents for food, shelter and comfort – their love was bonus. And then something happened, a great shift took place and we began translating our need for food, shelter and comfort as a need for love and acceptance. We started to feel that the way to food, shelter and comfort was by being loveable enough. That is when the word ‘enough’ first entered our awareness and with it the awareness of NOT being enough. That is when we started confusing survival with love. When the stakes of love became so high that our very survival felt it depended on how loved we were, how accepted we were, how good or clever or sweet or talented we were. That is when we shifted from loving ourselves to seeking love from the outside. And that is why it never feels like it is enough.

This is just a misinterpretation. You are enough. You have always been enough. THAT is the truth. You have been miraculous since before the moment you drew your first breath.

And I want to tell you something so important – something that is the disconnect between you and everything you desire (internally and externally)…


Free Manifestation Map puts your Manifesting on Auto-Pilot before
you go to sleep tonight…


  • It is SAFE for you to disconnect the words survival and love.
  • It is SAFE for you to disconnect the intertwined emotions behind survival and love.
  • It is SAFE for you to disconnect the stakes between survival and love.

You ARE love – you were born that way and you were born magnificent. You were born a BRILLIANT and MASTERFUL MANIFESTOR – think about it…

When you were born, you were so good at manifesting abundance that you manifested yourself into relationships where people brought you food when you couldn’t physically go out and get it yourself. You attracted people who would care for your needs – that’s BRILLIANT!

The true source of everything is within you and when you accept that and love yourself you will be given limitless access to that source.

You are not here to feel small – because you aren’t small – you are huge and infinite. You knew that once, and you can know and receive it again. Every moment that you move closer to complete love for yourself, you move closer to complete abundance, prosperity, joy and fulfillment.

How much you love yourself is reflected in what shows up in your external life. Now, that is another bold statement that pushes some buttons, so let me give you an example from my own life…

There was a period of my life when I lived in New York City, I was barely surviving – I lived off of stale bread and old mayonaise for a while. And in my angry moments – back then – if you had told me that how much I love myself was reflected in what was showing up in my life, I would have been beyond angry – I would have been insulted – I would have told you how it wasn’t my fault, I would have yelled and screamed and stomped my feet.

BUT here’s the truth, I loved myself only enough to allow stale bread and old mayonaise to show up in my life. It’s true – I had stale bread love for myself.

And that’s okay – it was part of my journey back to love – it was part of my journey back to complete self-acceptance – it was part of the journey that I am still on. And now I can love myself for that time in my life. Can you? Can you look lovingly at when you forgot to love yourself? Can you look lovingly at you and how intertwined survival and love became? Can you love you? I know you can – how do I know?

Because – you were born that way.

Even if it was for a glimpse of a moment, you loved yourself wholly, completely and unconditionally – and that glimpse of a moment of abundant love is the light to lead you home.


Quick Tip Look Who’s Talking…
Whenever you feel yourself striving for someone else’s approval, love or acceptance, stop and lovingly ask yourself this question…

“How can I demonstrate to myself right now how much I approve and love and accept myself?”

The second you do this, you take your focus off of the other person – you remind yourself that it is your love that will open the gates of abundance and joy.







“Hi Kristen,
Many many thanks, I have been using your AMF Program for close to 2 months now, it’s amazing, i am so glad that finally something is not just hype but substance & how…..have begun to feel such unbelievable & significant changes…..& the best thing is your little tips & follow up advice that lets me know you haven’t forgotten me…that works wonders…..i am just so grateful to have found you….
love you absolutely…
God Bless……




51 Responses to “Why Abundance Eludes You”

  1. Sara says:

    You hit a hot spot in your final comment about striving for someone else’s approval… my husband’s is mine…. when is it my turn?

  2. christine clement says:

    Hi Kristen,

    All your news letters are inspiring thank you so much. This one particulary strikes a cord, it is wonderful to read what we already know to be true in our soul. and find confirmation in that.

    I also wanted to say thank you for all your little messages, you have no idea how joyful it is to read that you care and wish us well. All the messages come just at the right time.

    I wish you a joyful and abundant blessings,

    Chrisitne Clement.

    • Kristen says:

      Hi Christine!

      Thank you for your amazing words – it is a blessing that I can be here sharing with you all – I appreciate that you are including me in your journey!


  3. Kevin Bauer says:

    Thanks for the reminder. Sometimes I fall into that trap…a lot!!!

  4. Josephine says:

    Thank you for giving us tough love. Its harsh to realize that my external life is a reflection of how much i love myself. I have a long way to go and so much loving to show myself, but i empress these truth, hard as it is and choose a more enlightened path to take

  5. Harry says:

    too true, love is equated with so many other things. as human beings, we have twisted it to become less than what it is…..take a look at yourself friends

  6. Bev says:

    Hi Kristen

    What a brilliant article and it has hit the right spot with me. It feels like the Universe was talking through you!
    I have been focusing my attention in totally the wrong place – giving love elsewhere, but not loving myself enough to say “I claim.”

  7. Stephan says:

    I’m amazed how much I love myself; and didn’t know! I’m free from receiving outside love. I could not imagine that such little corrections in my life are so life changing. I was looking for big, dramatic impacts. I’m glad it is much simpler.

  8. Susan says:

    Thank you! Your words were just what I needed today! Blessings–

  9. Ofentse Chabe says:

    hi dear

    It is very amazing how pure heart cleanse each other, the way you present this uplifting soul messages makes fermented decisions to blossom for seed of the next season and forever…
    I went through different document stating that the truth is within us not explaining what really mean. Anyway I believe in me, by which I may say my God. From that perspective can someone lift me from there?
    Ok fine enthusiasm (God within)
    This fermented in my mind, now I want to penetrate to the real house of God. I went through challenges, even now am still on fire to crush them all.

  10. VCM says:

    Very truly said!
    Each one of us is a reflection of the other& yet there is No Other!
    We are All One!

  11. Stephanie says:

    I loved this and I really needed it today too. I have fallen out of love with and for myself. I am going to bring it back now. Thank you..

    Love and Light,

  12. Jordan says:

    Thanks, Kristen – this is brilliant!

    I believe the lack of self-love and acceptance is so many people’s “missing piece” to experiencing abundance.

  13. Julio says:

    I enjoyed reading this article. It is so true how loving ourselves is the key. I went through a period in my life when I did not love myself but today it’ the opposite. I know what I’m worth and the good person I am.

    Thank you.

  14. clifford says:

    Abundance eludes yes … but often we already have enormous abundance … folks are worrying about buying a better car, house, trip, when they have a nice car, beautiful house, and lots of cheap local places they could travel. Abundance is a state of mind — more than a state of the bank account. Kristen is right that if we love overselves, we will do that love overselves, it need not cost a fortune. A fun evening with friends, make a favoriate meal, take a warm bath , read a great book from the library.

    • Kristen says:

      Exactly Clifford! And when we discover the abundance that is within us, outer abundance (which is just the icing on the cake) follows suit!

      You are extraordinary!

  15. Peter Wood says:


    Thanks for that Kristen! I got goosebumps reading that because I’ve just realised what I’ve been missing for the last 71 years.

    I’ve struggled financially all my life, even when I had my own business for 25 years – got the big house in the country and all that – and lost it. No matter how hard I’ve worked there has always, always, always been a steady decline. Nothing dramatic (except when I lost the business) but a noticeable steady decline and I’ve been at my wits end as to know what to do about it.

    Not any more. Tomorrow is a new beginning!

    Thank you so much for that.

    As Sonia Ricotti says, love and light.


  16. V says:

    Thank you very much. Inspirational in a time of need 🙂

  17. Glenda says:

    Kristen, you bring warmth to my day. Thank you for your inspiring words. I look forward to your newsletters and have many quotes from them hanging on post-it notes around my computer. Every day I get a little better. Thank you for sharing your gift with us.

  18. Tom Sanchez says:

    Hi, Kristen:

    Thank you from my heart for publishing this article. I’ve been sick this week and, as has been usually the case since I started my journey towards self-love and self-acceptance, I always get major insights when I’m sick. I suddenly accepted the fact that, since childhood, I had to win my parents’ love in order to feel physically safe in the world. Their displeasure would ostracize me from their love, so the implication was. That led me to not use my own power, to develop a sense of self-power. If I used it, I risked losing my parents’ love. From then on, I looked to others to validate me. Since I didn’t grow up with the language of self-development, 24 years of therapy, Co-Dependents Anonymous, and countless seminars on and off the web that I’ve taken led me to my realization that I came to this week: loving myself brings me love, and abundance whereas the former way I looked at relationships meant my survival.

    You and Dr. Anthony have played important roles in my road to self-love. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! With all of this, I thank myself and my Higher Power for being me.


    • Kristen says:

      Hi Tom!

      What an amazing message – thank you for posting it and thank you for including me as part of your journey – I am truly honored!

      You are extraordinary!


  19. Justin says:

    Thanks so much for the newsletters Kristen, always appreciated and sometimes more.

    This one will definitely enlighten the conversation I’m developing with my young teen daughters.

    Thanks again for all you do!

    • Kristen says:

      Hi Justin!

      How cool that you are going to use this within your conversations with your teen daughters. I’d love to hear more from you!

      You are miraculous!

  20. Rashmi says:


    This is strange….this is exactly absolutely exactly realizing myself for some time snd talking about to all around me. Thanks for writing this , great validation.Folks it is true, we were not thrown on this planet to suffer, our soul in its infinite wisdom chose to manifest itself exactly as it needed to experience and learn it needed to next. Trouble is we are so totally disconnected from our soul, our true nature.The more we connect to our soul the more we become aware of our limitless self and out goes all the limits our ego creates to keep us safe.

  21. Janice Osburn says:


    I am so thankful to be apart of your life right now. I was born a Unity baby
    with my Mom teaching me (and everyone) that we are born Perfect Children.
    And you are so right. It’s the time we learn that we need to be “something”
    in order to be loved. In my case, I had a Dad who was a Unity Minister teaching
    this, yet within him was an issue that caused him to pay no attention to me.
    I finally left to learn how to love myself and life happens and we carry our old
    thoughts within us and forget we are Perfect just the way we are and deserve
    to love ourselves. Bless you for showing us the way back to our Truths.
    You are awesome and I attracted you into my life at the perfect time!

  22. Janice says:

    Self -love the big key without this true love is hard to attract
    Thank you for sharing this wonderful piece

  23. Lisa says:

    Thanks for another timely and inspiring message Kristen. I am going through a major life transition that began in earnest a year ago (brewing for many prior to that!) which came to fruition last summer. I have untangled myself from a 20yr overly codependent relationship where I constantly sought approval and constantly felt that I wasn’t enough even though I never actually believed it myself. The evidence seemed to brainwash me into feeling that way. Since leaving I have learned so much about loving myself and being kind to myself daily. I can actually look in the mirror and genuinely smile at myself now and I feel the real me unfolding like a butterfly. The abundance part though is still a real struggle despite some radical mindset changes toward my wealth attitude. After 8 months of fresh confidence and a zest for my new independent life, doubt is starting to creep back in as I am still homeless and jobless despite all my efforts. I guess I’m impatient but how can I keep the faith when again the evidence points against my desires? I’d love to hear your insight on this. Thank you
    Lisa x

    • Kristen says:

      Hi Lisa!

      Wow, it is amazing having you here – and thank you for sharing and being so honest!

      Whenever doubt starts to creep in – you can do 2 things right away…

      1. Ask the universe to take the doubt from you – literally say out loud, “Universe, please take this doubt from me.”
      2. Start looking for proof that what you desire exists in the world (it may not seem to exist in your world yet) but the fact that it exists in the world means it is here for you, so celebrate the existence of what you desire, say “thank you Universe for showing me the proof of this existence!”

      I also have a 5 minute visualization you can use – I’m happy to give it to you – you can sign up to receive it here:

      You are a miracle!


  24. Nancy Oblea says:

    No one not our parents, bosses, friends and family have ever truly been taught that universal love and abundance is an inside out job . Although we hear this time and time again read it and believe it and I do it is a daily practice for sure.We try to take old thoughts and change them with new from what I am learning the it is something again that has to be practiced .

  25. lebogang says:

    GOD bless u adt was really eye opening my big coach

  26. Jorene says:

    Awesome, inspiring article. Certainly hit a cord with me. This one was for me and perfectly timed. As always the Universe is always helping us, but sometimes we just cannot see. Thank you for this and all your inspiring articles. I am grateful.


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