Scared to be too pushy or salesy?

I know there are many of you trying to get something out there into the world…

For some of you it’s a new business for others it’s a  form of creative expression or way of impacting the world…

It doesn’t matter what it is, what matters is that you get it out there and I know that for most of you there is probably fear that goes along with that.  You don’t want to be pushy or salesy or annoy the people you know and love…

But let me tell you something important about this…

And I’ll actually use this blog to illustrate my point…

Here’s the truth…

The more I blog, the more responsive people are…the more people ask for my help, hire me as a coach, bring me on to speak etc.

What does this mean to me about life and more specifically living the life we want to design, achieving our aspirations, being the people we desire to be?

I’ll tell you (you knew I would)!

It means that when we want to get something out there or make something known or get people on board with something we have to take the other people into account.

Now this is where I flip what we normally do on it’s ear!

How we normally ‘Take other people into account’ is by ASSUMING we will annoy them or bother them…we think they will grow weary of us…so we mention something in passing and then let it go…assuming that if it is important to them or resonates with them they will pick up the ball and run with it, gleefully letting us know how what we have is exactly what they’ve been waiting for.

Let’s be honest,  if we REALLY ‘Take other people into account’ we will realize that there are so many distractions and so much stimuli flying around all at all times, that if we just mention something in passing, chances are great that our thing or message or whatever will automatically shift to the back of their brains, not because they are being mean or don’t care, but just because that is how it is.

BEFORE I GO ON LET ME CLARIFY…You should also NEVER ASSUME that they are all ears and sitting around all day every day just waiting for your message or thing or whatever…I’m NOT saying be annoying…I’m not saying harass people…in fact you should always give people the chance to respectfully decline…

Here’s the thing…you only want to be talking to people who want to hear what you have to say AND I guarantee you that there are a lot more people that actually do want to hear what you have to say than you think.

To boil it down, I’m saying is this…

‘If you don’t toot your own horn, someone else will pick it up and hit you over the head with it.’

  • Toot it with respect for the people listening…
  • Toot it with confidence but not OVER confidence or false bravado…
  • Toot it and know that NOT everyone will like the sound of your particular horn…

Keep in mind…tooting your own horn doesn’t mean talking about yourself or bragging…it means putting what you want out there and letting it be known…you never know who has the key to a door for you!

And remember…listen for when you might have the key to a door for someone else…because that’s a powerful thing!

Leave me a comment right now and answer this question…

What have you  quietly kept to yourself or mentioned only in passing, that it’s time to claim loudly now?

(This could be a dream as big as wanting to run for President or it could be as simple as speaking up and saying that you have always wanted to have the Vintage Cameras that used to be in your Grandmother’s house.)

Go Big!


P.S. My new monthly membership program is filling up and I’m very excited to be able to hold my VIP members accountable and talk with them every month. If you are ready to live an extraordinary life NOW then go check it out and see if it’s the program for you:

28 Responses to “Scared to be too pushy or salesy?”

  1. Russ says:

    Well, yes, and no. Afraid? Yes, have to admit that one. Of being too pushy or salesy? No. But that\’s only because I\’m not! Those are things that I just don\’t do. I\’m not a pushy or salesy kind of guy!

  2. adam says:

    great post and very in touch with what I always thought self promotion should be like, meaning respectful and with an audience of like minded people. I want to be able to enjoy my family and children more from being at home more with my own home business. Still a dream and along way to go. Thanks for the chance to voice it 🙂

  3. Hi Kristen,

    I loved it that much, I allowed myself to posted it into my blog. I think you are very much right, many of us are afraid to be to “salesy”

  4. SUE says:

    Hi Kirsten,

    You are so right. I enjoy reading all your bloggs, and even think of comments, but never get round to responding. It is nice to be interactive.
    I do hope you are feeling much better after your car crash.
    I guess people will ot know what you want to say unless you say it!

  5. Leila says:

    I think if you have a good link to your intuition you know who to push what in front of (so to speak).

  6. A big fat NO on that question. Never afraid. Always cool. Ahm a Road Runner huhnnnney!

    Go Big!

    (did not even have to hesitate answering.)


  7. Tim says:

    Thank you! I will have wealth beyond my imagination. I will not worry about the how and ask for your teaching. You have survived a terrible accident for a purpose. Your are living that purpose. Please teach us.
    God bless

  8. Anthony Quiroz says:

    I am in good hands when I allow God into my soul I am only wanting to make our world a better place and help others believe in themselfs we all make this a better place to live lives free and happy!It does all matter no matter what just Believe!

  9. George says:

    Hello Kristen,
    I like it a lot, people do hold back in fear of hurting other people\’s feelings. But where is the line of growing up to be respectful by refraining from saying things we like to say to being open and honest of what you want to say to people without fear of hurting them. I grew up holding back and feeling like there is some secret that I must not talk about so I found this pretty interesting.

  10. Peter says:

    Good post Kristen. If something is important enough to say in passing, it is important enough to follow up.
    Leaving it up to the other person to “know” the where, when, how and why that is on your mind is not a productive way to get things done.

  11. Margaret Taylor says:

    Im not afraid of anything. I’m a child of God no less than the trees and the stars. My thoughs words and deeds————-Manifest.

  12. Stacy says:

    Kristen – boy does this message hit home for me! I have started a new career in sales (my own business) and I even though I KNOW that people need my products and services, and I KNOW it’s my job to be somewhat “pushy” I still am fighting inner conflict with how much is too much. I have come up with a holiday marketing campaign that I KNOW will work, but have been putting off implementation because of this exact fear. Taking your message and the timing as a sign that I’m on the right track, and that it’s time to put my plan in place. Thanks for the push!

  13. Barb says:

    One thing I can take from this is I realized I can speak loud and clear for myself. I used to let my husband do all the speaking and thinking for that matter. Funny thing, I exploded 1 day and I haven’t stopped speaking since then. Doing what is good for me is good for other people as well. We are all creative and all need to contribute to make it work :o)be it pushy or not, but we need to keep trying and find what’s right and works for each of us, pushy or not is an individual calling. Thank you Kristen.

  14. Rosemary says:

    I\’m a real estate broker, so I\’m not really fearful of putting out the information. Sometimes I get positive responses, and sometimes I get no response at all. I just learned about Facebook (I\’m 61 years old, not 21, so I never realized what it was for or how to use it), so I think I\’ll start doing that as a marketing tool and a way to keep in touch with my clients without pushing them too hard.

    Hold me accountable! I\’m one of your GoBig clients.

  15. Rosemary says:

    Sometimes it’s embarrassing to read these blogs again and realize I didn’t exactly follow-through with what I said I would (i.e., facebook). Good reminder though.

    It’s also funny that I just sent you an e-mail about how I was just overwhelmed with so many programs offering help, even yours with which I have been involved for more than 6 months. Your posting this blog actually answered the question I sent. The Universe works that way.

    Time to reach out to my past, present and future clients again.


  16. DJ says:

    Owning a livaboard yacht to cruise the Caribbean and beyond, succesful online business to allow the freedom to do so, and helping the less fortunate.

  17. Leila says:

    My new life. My new life includes my amazing new partner; my new home; my new income maker and all the things I’ve been visualizing.

  18. I created a blog, have it out for the world to see in facebook and twitter. It is for those who want to read about my experiences and how they changed who I am today. The way I teach others to change as I have. And I do speak up and out to reach others, but I have not received the huge gathering of people to read my blog, that I expect and want.

    I want others to read it and get something out of it.

    I do feel, though, that writing this blog, even though it’s intent was to help others, is even moreso, a way for me to release my past and move on. This may sound strange, but this is what I’ve done.

    Now, I want to continue writing and I’m hoping I’ll discover a more creative and fun way to write a book or even another blog.

    And I must find a way to make a lot of money, because what I also search for is wealth, independence and freedom.

    I welcome any suggestions.

    Thanks. JoAnna

  19. Lekuka Dom says:

    good to hear this.We all need to break the silence and speak it out.

  20. Rauff Reffai says:

    Hi Kristen,
    How interesting to read so many eager/young people who want to be pushy.That ! is something which does not come easy for people in Asia.
    In my case my BHAG is getting ‘our’ practice to the Middle East. Some leads are developing.
    I will certainly need your help in the next few months !

  21. Peter Chabanowich says:

    Hello Kristen: Thank you for the information. Because I’ve been in the public eye through many years of work, I am not afraid of putting out the info, of being communicative, of being confident of my intention and experience. It is with fear my problems surface – I am 63, one career gone and facing poverty, no way to retire. These fears and circumstances are crippling. It is the search for alleviation which brought me to you. Thank you for sharing. Peter

  22. A good and necessary message Kristen. I tend to send pure content to my list without a sales message at all and when I do have an offer they don’t buy because they are not used to having to buy from me. I find that a bit frustrating as I put in so much time and effort and see no financial rewards. My list and facebook friends appreciate very much what I do. I get a lot of remarks and comments in that direction but they don’t buy. I am in the process of changing that to get a clearer message out and hopefully some sales.

  23. Kristen,

    When I read the comments listed above and listen to myself I wonder what has happened to the old adage of ‘doing what you love and the money will come to you.’ Or ‘You know you are on the right path when everything falls into place’. Those are not accurate quotes, but I hope you know what I mean.

    I think that when we are in a state of struggle, and that is certainly where I am at, everything we do is difficult. Whether it be having to push when we don’t feel we can, or getting a message out and feeling no one is reading it or responding, it does feel like a struggle.

    So, are we doing what we are meant to do? Are we following our bliss or a childhood dream? Or are we doing what we feel we must in order to make money? Are we doing what someone told us we would be good at whether we love it or not?


  24. sandi reeve says:

    Awesome message Kristen. Ive started a home based business in the beauty industry and so far not getting the response I was hoping for. I try to get sales without sounding too pushy for fear of scaring potential customers away. I have a fan page on facebook like so many of my peers do, but not getting the numbers up there either. Ive tried different forms of advertising or to no avail. Im not giving up on this one but it does leave me feeling a bit down sometimes that its not going the way I wanted it to.

  25. Anita says:

    Thanks Kristen for your timely post! I have been afraid to speak my mind to the world for fear of what others may think of me! I have much information to pass onto the people that want to listen.
    Thanks for your big voice!

  26. Mark says:

    Okay Kristen,
    Here goes, No I am not scared of being pushy, however I agree with JoAnna above. It can be difficult when you have so much on your plate. Believe me prioritizing isn’t easy. Sometimes it just down right hard to even function. I also find it overwhelming at times. I truly believe I am doing what I want to do, but with all there is to be done and with little or no help I am not sure if it is possible!


  27. Thanks Kristen. Your blog posts are great. This one really hits home. I have been involved in Network Marketing for quite some time. I feel that the products and services that I promote are life-changing and essential but I really have a problem with feeling pushy and salesy. I feel that most people that I encounter feel that they are being sold instead of seeing the benefits. I’m trying to overcome this feeling of seeming like a salesperson rather than a person who is genuinely interested in providing value.

  28. Thomas says:

    I think you are right on. I have always been a person who respects others feelings. But I also realize, the more I push, or get myself out in front of the people, the more chances I have of succeeding. Now, that my wife (soon to be ex) are in agreement that we are not good for one another, because I am more a person to go after my dreams. She is a good person who prefers a safer route for her druthers. I have made some blunders– don’t get me wrong. But when I started my business (because I was with a girl who really believed in me)I went after it. I did cold-calling and a bunch of phone. Now, I want to get in the creative end of entertainment projects, done some acting, writing and now maybe in some producing. Which requires a major push by me. I feel I am more prepared than ever to really go after it. So, your article was very apropos to what I am feeling right now. So, thank you and I will keep you advised coach!

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