Opportunity and fear…

Time to Go Big…

Fear was on my mind on my walk today, I was thinking about a coaching client of mine.

She is faced with an opportunity right now and when it was brought to her she was immediately hit with fear.

On our call today, she told me all of the wild thoughts that threw themselves at her at warp speed when she first got the call with this opportunity.

Before I share her thoughts with you (and yes, she gave me approval to do so) I feel it’s important to know that there is NO MONEY at stake, there are NO CONTRACTS being signed, DEATH could not be a result, hell INJURY isn’t even a possibility.

Back to her attacking thoughts…these are the primary thoughts that hurled themselves at her…

  • ‘What if it only seems like an opportunity but it’s not?’
  • ‘What if it’s too much work and doesn’t fit into my life how I want it to?”
  • “What if I hate it?”
  • “What if it fails?”
  • “What if I waste my time?’

…You get the idea.

Fear is such a huge factor in our lives…it becomes a great reason NOT to do things, get involved, connect, try…live.

The funny thing to me is how we phrase our fears…here are some examples of what we tell ourselves…

  • ‘I’m scared to fly’
    (No you’re not…you’re scared to die)
  • ‘I’m scared to love’
    (No you’re not…you’re scared that you won’t be loved back)
  • ‘I’m scared to try a new sport, language, hobby, business.’
    (No you’re not your scared you’ll look stupid)
  • ‘I’m scared to start my own business.’
    (No you’re not…you’re scared you’ll fail)
  • ‘I’m scared to reach out to that casting director’
    (No you’re not…you’re scared they’ll tell you you’re not talented)
  • ‘I’m scared to tell them how much I love them’
    (No you’re not…you’re scared they won’t care)
  • ‘I’m scared to commit to __________.’
    (No you’re not, you’re scared if you commit you lose the power to choose)

And the list goes on…

We attach fear to the wrong thing…we attach it to the action when really what we are scared of is some potential negative feeling/emotion/result.

If we took EVERYTHING that anyone claims they are scared of I guarantee it boils down to a few basic fears:

  • Fear of death or injury (to you or someone you love).
  • Fear of rejection
  • Fear of looking stupid
  • Fear of failure

Boiled down even further…what we are scared of in one word is PAIN.

And the thing about people is, for the most part, we will most likely take action to avoid PAIN than we will to achieve pleasure.

BUT BUT BUT

Isn’t living life in a LESS THAN way PAINFUL?

It is for me…it sucks…I hate it…I wish I got zapped with electricity every time I chose the pain of safety over the possibility of pain with something new or out of the box that could bring me great joy.

That’s what I mean by ‘Go Big’…to me ‘Going Big’ means choosing to go toward what has a chance to bring me great joy even though it may not…because if I don’t ‘Go Big’ I am guaranteed 1 thing and 1 thing only, and that is the pain of living a life that is ‘less than’.

So my questions for you today are:

What does ‘Go Big’ mean to you?

Remember the Go Big End of Year Challenge: In what small way (maybe in less than 15 minutes) can you push your comfort zone and choose to ‘Go Big’ today?

Go Big!

Kristen

P.S. My Go Big VIP Program is filling up and I am doing something special.  The next 50 people that join and commit to ‘Go Big Now’ and not wait until after the holidays will get a special 1-on-1 strategy session with me in January to give you that extra advantage you need to make 2010 the best it can be. Get on board as one of the next 50 here: http://www.gobigcoach.com/gobignow


11 Responses to “Opportunity and fear…”

  1. Steve says:

    Kristen:

    Your best post yet…

    Steve

  2. Timothy says:

    I AM grateful that confirmation presents itself daily…all I have to do is pay ATTENTION!!!
    thanks for your sincerity..’;o)

  3. Jaime Kalman says:

    What a great article, Kristen! Fabulous!

  4. Chris Young says:

    Very well said. I appreciate the kick in the arse. Today’s declaration, “I give myself permission to go big”

    Chris

  5. Rosemary says:

    I am afraid that I won’t be able to learn to market my real estate listings online, that I won’t have enough time. In other words, I am afraid I will fail to market them properly, not sell them and lose another good client or two (or ten). Today, I was busy closing one escrow, and working on two others, but I did ask my assistant to read over one of the marvelous marketing programs, and I talked to the representative from another, just to get the ball rolling. I’ll just take it one step at a time.

    Thanks for the push.

  6. Ulla Silcock says:

    Right on the button! Great article. Thank you Kristen!

  7. Tseli says:

    This is so true, we live in fear always. Thanks Kristen for a great topic. I believe going big means aiming high for everything one wants in her/his life. Have a fabulous day.

  8. jack says:

    thank you every thing is so wonderfull kristen

  9. john says:

    Great post – thank you – perfect timing for me!I’m afraid of how much of me I have never let loose – the awesomeness of all that I really am!
    Scares me more than I know how to write – you help me remember that at my most natural, I have felt this before, and never let it stop me!!
    Its safe to do it again (and again) 🙂

  10. beverly says:

    I LOVE WHAT YOU POSTED KRISTEN, INFACT THATS WHAT REALLY I AM TO OVERCOME…STILL WITH LOTS OF POSITIVE BOOKS I,VE READ STILL HAVE SOME FEAR DEEP WITHIN IN TIMES I ENCOUNTER THESE. THANKS FOR UNCOVERING IT UP AGAIN

  11. kate says:

    Hi—I liked your article. I live in a fear based world that can’t seem to shake. What is wrong with me? I’ve read hundreds of self help books since was a teenager (am 50 now). Read and practiced A Course In Miracles, read and watched the Secret, listen to Abraham tapes almost daily, scour through all the inspiring emails, audios and webinars all the time. Have even fallen for buying some of the 97$ (they’re always 97$) promises to change my life and live the law of attraction and promises freedom from fear, lack, isolation etc etc. These have been disappointing and expensive with shallow info and nothing new.
    I read all these responses how people are finding their happiness, spirituality, abundance, love etc.
    I stopped watching the news and stopped reading the newspapers for over a year now. I think +, I use writing, taping my own voice, meditation and hypnosis tapes. Have been drug and alcohol free for 11 years. I forgive and love and accept and blah blah blah.
    Soooo what really is the secret? What is wrong with me? What am I missing? Why am I alone and bored and anxious and afraid?

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