You Won’t Be Happy, Until You’re Happy

Welcome back to the current issue of the Law of Attraction Key Newsletter!

How important is happiness really?

I’ll tell you, happiness is the greatest underlying motivator for everything we do, want and quest for. Truly, if you break down everything you have ever desired and you keep asking ‘why’ you want what you want; happiness is there, motivating you.

So, I’ll ask again – how important is happiness really?

It is extraordinarily important. And there is good news…

We (each and every one of us) have the power to be happy now.

So why is there so much unhappiness in the world? That’s a great question and it’s exactly what I’m going to talk about in the article I wrote for you today.

Here’s the deal, unhappiness often arises when we mistakenly assign happy to a specific outcome. Give today’s article a read and you’ll see what I mean AND I give you a great and easy thing you can do, right away, to reclaim your happiness. I can’t wait for you to read this.

Thank you in advance for leaving a comment after you read this article, I love being able to connect with you and hear your thoughts.

I also want to thank you for sharing the ‘Law of Attraction Key Online Magazine’ with your friends and family – we are raising the vibration of the world together – thank you!

Life Mastery Is Yours!

Kristen

P.S. Let’s connect on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/GoBigCoach – I’ll see you there!

 

“The opportunity for happy is
now, not tomorrow, not when this
or that happens, but now.”

— Kristen Howe

 

You Won’t Be Happy, Until You’re Happy

By Kristen Howe

I was having a conversation with a coaching client the other day, she was talking about how she is really excited because she is going through and organizing all the disorganized areas of her home.

I remembered having a similar conversation with her a few years back when she lived in a different home, and the similarities made me wonder if there was a pattern we should look at together, so I asked her if she remembered us having a very similar conversation a few years ago.

She did remember and said, “oh yeah, I’ve had this focus for years – to go through all my stuff and get it organized and taken care of.”

I said, “That’s interesting that you feel like it has always been your thing, let me ask you this, does it seem like there is always more stuff to go through?”

She said, “YES! And I can’t figure out when I’m going to finally be done, but I can’t wait.”

I said, “Why? What’s going to happen when you are finally done?”

And she said, “I’ll be happy.”

I said, “When you’re happy, you’ll be happy.”

There was silence over the phone line and then she quietly said, “huh?”

I said, “You won’t be happy, until you are happy. It isn’t about when you finally go through all your stuff – because there will always be more stuff. Being happy happens when you be happy.”

More silence – and then she said, “Whoa – wow – that just hit me like a ton of bricks.”

Let me explain further…

So many people think they will be happy when something specific happens – and they want to be happy (because happiness is the actual feeling we all desire) – so they put all of there energy on that something happening and little to no energy on being happy.

The opportunity for happiness is NOW – not tomorrow – not when this thing or that thing happens – but now. You won’t be happy, until you are happy. And that’s okay – in fact it’s great news, because you can be happy in any moment – you have that power.

So what does this mean to you? Well, it means you get to free yourself from the pressure you have assigned to whatever thing you have assigned happiness to, and you just get to be happy.

Does that mean my client shouldn’t organize her stuff anymore – NO, that’s not what I’m saying at all – but, she can focus on being happy first. AND when she does organize her stuff, she can remove all the pressure that she had put on it, so that she is simply organizing her stuff and creating a harmonious environment. Do you see the difference? More importantly, do you FEEL the difference?

Keep on reading to find out how you can be happy now …

 

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I want to help you with this, so let’s do an exercise right now to help you stop chasing happy and instead start BEING happy.

I want you to do is write down the thing or things that you have assigned happiness to. Some common things I hear are:

  • When my huge list of ‘things I have to do’ is finally done
  • When I finally have 1 million dollars
  • When I finally finish organizing my life
  • When I finally lose 20 pounds
  • When I finally get my dream job
  • When I finally finish writing my book
  • When I finally find my soul mate

You get the idea. And if you are having any trouble figuring out what it is for you, try filling in the blanks on this question…

When I FINALLY _________________ I will be happy! 

Now, I suggest you see how many times you can fill in that blank, because that will reveal how many outcomes you have assigned happiness to.

This is so important for a couple of reasons…

When you assign happiness to one or more outcomes, you are chasing something that will never resolve and here’s why, when you are chasing happiness, instead of being happy first, you will just shift the outcome. What I mean by that is this…

  • There will always be more things to put on your list of things to do.
  • When you have a million dollars you will want 2 million
  • There will always be more organizing you can do, etc.

Let me explain why. It is our nature to want to continue to grow, so we naturally want to raise ourselves to new levels and achieve new outcomes. As I said, that’s natural and you can embrace that, BUT when you have assigned happiness to a specific outcome, then you are setting yourself up to chase for your whole life.

The other reason this is so important is because it puts WAY TOO MUCH pressure on the things you desire which can often delay those things unnecesarily. Think about the difference for my client between organizing to achieve happiness and organizing to create a beautiful, harmonious home. Which of those outcomes do you think is more likely to occur? The 2nd one, of course, because it doesn’t carry with it the pressure of ‘making her happy’ – because she can already choose happy.

Do this exercise today, find out which outcomes you have attached happiness to, and take the pressure off. Be happy now – you can choose it, 1 moment at a time. And one of the best ways to do that is to ask yourself this question…

What can I be happy about right now?

Once you answer that question, let that happiness fill you up and radiate out from you. I promise you, there is ALWAYS something you can be happy about – in every single moment – it is up to you to choose to focus on it and feel it. Once you do, once you feel happy filling you and radiating out from you, you can do anything you want – you can organize, or go to the gym, or work on your business, or give attention to your relationship – and the most amazing thing will happen, because you have removed the pressure of happy, and because you are already happy, you will automatically notice an ease and flow and harmony that may not have been there before.

 

Quick Tip Look Who’s Talking…
It is possible that you are scared to be happy for some reason, and that’s okay, but until you deal with that, you won’t be happy, because you will continue to quest for the thing you are attaching happy to.So,  if you are scared to be happy, what do you do?First I suggest you do 5 minutes of automatic writing – set a timer for 5 minutes, grab a pen and paper (yes, this is best done by hand, not computer) and at the top of the page write this:I’m scared to be happy because…

Then start the timer and start writing. Don’t worry about making it all make sense, don’t judge your thoughts and choose what to write, simply write whatever comes to mind. It could be words, sentences phrases, random thoughts, it doesn’t matter, write for the entire 5 minutes.

When the timer goes off, without reading what you wrote, write this at the bottom of the page:

I am willing to release my fears about being happy, I am willing to fully receive happiness, I am willing to be happy now.

Then you can do 1 of 2 things…

  1. Put the paper away – WITHOUT READING IT – for at least 30 days.
  2. Ceremoniously (and safely) destroy and release the paper – AGAIN WITHOUT READING IT.

When you do this, you allow your subtle awareness to go to work without getting your analytic mind involved. And you will be amazed at how much lighter you begin to feel.

“Hi there Kristen,

This is just a quick email to let you know that I love your site: lawofattractionkey.com, and to say thank you for the valuable information you have provided in your emails and in The Power of Now mp3 course.

Regards,

Dale.”

 



 

 


42 Responses to “You Won’t Be Happy, Until You’re Happy”

  1. JULIE says:

    Thank you for your inspirational and thought provoking newsletters. Truly a pleasure and i look forward to receiving them.
    Thanks
    Julie

  2. Judith says:

    Profound wisdom here Kristen-the Dalai Lama too said our most important task was to be happy! And like any habit, you can grow into it, get used to it–and life lightens up–well not sure how this would play if one was trapped in a war zone, but for we lucky folk not in that position it’s the way to go…

  3. Kenneth Kunda says:

    This will trully my learning to live int the moment very interrsting and highly productive.

    Thank you very much

  4. sanjay rakecha says:

    After all Happiness is important. Thanks for great post

  5. Shivakkumar, A. S. says:

    Hi!

    Thanks for the message at the appropriate time….. I have run behind happiness all these days…

    Thank you!

  6. Barbara says:

    I am willing to start writing about what ‘could’ have happened in 1975…

    I am attaching a great deal of significance to what I ‘did not do’ and trying to create ‘what could have been’.

    And I did something else instead and that may have made all the difference.

  7. godswill says:

    your articles are so wonderful that i love to be a coach to touch lifes about what they have but do not know.
    especially here in Africa people don’t know how to be happy but they only think that until you have prove of something that can make you happy beofre you will be happy.
    i can start counting my happiness today for they things i already have in my life

  8. Ethel Jackson says:

    Hi Kristen,

    I cannot tell you how timely this article is for me. I had momentarily forgotten that NOTHING is important but that I feel good, and I so appreciate this reminder Big, big love.

  9. Jared says:

    You will be happy when you are happy. What you see is what you WILL see. All is good. All is perfect.How positive is your outlook.
    People often wonder why all their positive thinking, affirmations, visualizations and such have yet to produce their dreams lives. Simple enough. You cannot expect the universe to deliver beyond your image of the universe. And you, positive thinker optimistic visualizer, see a universe full of hardship, misfortune, poverty and lack. The deal is off!
    The fact is everybody who is trying to be more positive in their own lives has fundamentally negative notions about the world that they inhabit. Good luck with that! Try thinking, visualizing and affirming “dry” as you jump into a very wet ocean. Not gonna happen. As it is macro, so is micro.
    If you continue to see the universe as less than 100% positive then you will struggle to be positive. Results will be paltry and hit or miss. You will continue to struggle between positive thoughts, images, feelings and their negative counterparts. Experience tells that negative is much easier, seems to come naturally. Adhering to positive takes discipline, focus and work. Know why? You are trying to see positive in your life, at the same time that you see so much negative in the big world. Guess which one wins. Yep. Your image of the universe outweighs your image of you like an NFL linebacker does an ant. As long as you see so much negative in the world- AND YOU DO- negative will be much more natural.
    In Biblical terms judge not lest you live your live through the filter of your judgment. You will live through the filter of your ego’s judgment. And your negative judgment is a downward drag.
    All so unnecessary. It all just the mind’s hoax. The universe is absolutely, totally 100% positive. It can be no other way. This is not wishful thinking, fantasy, airy-fairy theory or optimism. It is cold hard fact minus ego, minus opinion, minus judgment. Negativity exists nowhere in the universe. It exists only in the mind of man. It is a mental construct that is given a reality by accepting it, reacting to it, building life upon it. But still unreal, untrue, nonexistent.
    SUCCESS IS A FUNCTION OF KNOWING HOW TO LOOK AT THINGS. KNOWING HOW TO LOOK AT THE WORLD AS IT TRULY IS. TO SEE HOW THINGS REALLY ARE.
    And there is a fundamental flaw in your understanding.
    The universe is the totally of is. There is no isn’t in the is. You must get that.
    All of the hardship, misfortune, poverty and lack that the news media and politicians feed you day in and day out is all a matter of the not. It is all a matter of ego-perceived nonexistence. It’s all about people not having, not being, not doing. And you suck it up like there’s no tomorrow. Having is real. Doing is real. Being is real. Not having is the negation or nonexistence of having and as such literally does not exist and is not real and not true.
    All problems, all hardship, all misfortune are a matter of “not”. Not enough this, that or something else. All problems and hardship are the ego’s perceived negative.
    Negativity is as far away from enlightenment and power as you can get. Why? Why is the positive valuable and powerful and the negative useless? Simple. The positive is. The negative is not. The negative has no mass, no energy, no power, no potential, no value. Nothing. Nothing is no thing. A total nonvalue. Of no value. And making it of value, making it real is the fundamental mistake of life. It’s like trying to erect a building on an imaginary, nonexistent foundation. Reacting to the not as though it were the is is the fundamental error.
    Seeing the not as real is your fundamental mistake. How can the not be part of the is? And the fact is you are almost certainly getting worse despite all your study of success techniques. Americans have become more and more problem and hardship focused. Thanks to manipulative power-hungry politicians and news media looking to fill greatly expanded broadcast schedules. It wasn’t that long ago that “poor” meant one did not have food or shelter. Then somebody decided that “poor” meant the “bottom” 20% no matter how much they have. People have become so negative that they whine that those who don’t have as much as most others are “poor”. High priests of the negative have even gone so far as to declare 99% as poor downtrodden victims!! Negativity gone berserk.
    You can only be as successful as you are positive. You can only be as positive as you see the universe being positive. Do you see poverty and misfortune? Or blessings and opportunities to be appreciated? Appreciation and gratitude or whining, complaining and pity? Seeing the world as it really is or allowing your ego to create the isn’t? Once you really get that the isn’t isn’t, that the negative is negation and cannot exist, then it’s game over. Simply cast down the images of no value that just keep popping up and attempting to derail you from flow of the 100% positive and abundant universe and its inevitable growth, abundance, and joy. It is those images of negation that keep getting in the way. And that is all that they are or can ever be. There can be nothing more foolish than allowing made-up images to get in the way of your happiness and success. It truly is all good. There is only wealth, strength, vitality, ability. There is only light. Darkness does not exist. Fact! Just let it flow.
    A man turns his back to the sun and sees the darkness of his shadow. Yet even with his back to the sun he is bathed in brilliant sunshine from head to foot. And even the ground where his shadow falls is illuminated by the sun otherwise he could not see one blade of grass or pebble there. When we turn our back to God’s goodness, as we all do, we then experience the darkness created by our own judgment. We are then left to live and move in the darkness created by our ego rather than God’s all goodness. And still that is all there is: God’s goodness. For the taking. Just as the man’s shadow cannot obliterate the sun, our judgments and opinions can not obliterate God’s goodness. Even as turning our back cause the sun to beat on our back, turning our back to God leaves us with His goodness beating on our back. Our egos can only keep us from knowing and experiencing God’s goodness.
    We all do, in fact, live in the shadow cast by our ego. The more intelligent and educated a person, the bigger the ego. The bigger the ego the more difficult to accept a reality that exists independent of that ego and then the greater the tendency or urge to add to and take away from that reality
    SUCCESS IS A FUNCTION OF KNOWING HOW TO LOOK AT THINGS. KNOWING HOW TO LOOK AT THE WORLD AS IT TRULY IS. TO SEE HOW THINGS REALLY ARE.
    A man has a Honda in his driveway. When he looks out he sees a Honda. The neighbors see a Honda and those driving by see a Honda. Another man has a Honda in his driveway. The neighbors see a Honda and those passing by see a Honda. Every time he looks out he sees “not a Porsche”. Every time he gets in his Honda he thinks ‘not a Porsche”. The truth is that he has and drives a Honda. The darkness perceived by his ego is not a Porsche. Not a Porsche is an opinion or judgment. Honda is the truth.
    The negative that the second man created steals his joy and it steals his peace. The negative is darkness, decline and death. Death of peace, joy, success, growth. And it’s all made up.
    Having a Honda is real. Wanting a Porsche is real. Imagining yourself owning a Porsche (if you do in fact imagine it,is real). Seeing yourself driving a Porsche is real. Not having a Porsche is the negation or nonexistence of having a Porsche and as such does not exist and therefore is not real. It is a figment of the ego.
    SUCCESS IS A FUNCTION OF KNOWING HOW TO LOOK AT THINGS. KNOWING HOW TO LOOK AT THE WORLD AS IT TRULY IS. TO SEE HOW THINGS REALLY ARE. That is success and leads to further success and the experience of success.
    You must get this. Success is seeing the way things are. A mistake is perceiving the not as an is. 2 + 2 really does equal 4. That’s truth. Perceiving 2 + 2 as being 4 is a mistake, and error. It is failure. Proceeding under the misapprehension that 2 + 2 = 4 leads to trouble.
    Appreciatio, appreciation, gratitiude. ALWAYS and in everyhting. The foundation of and gateway to success and growth.

  10. harshal says:

    Dear kristen,
    u r awesome I am doing.what u are saying. and I want to be happy

  11. Kathy says:

    Thank you…I’m feeling happy and blessed already..thanks for the reminder to focus on it 🙂

  12. Delfin Cagara says:

    This is great stuff indeed. I have been an avid follower of the Law of Attraction but there seems to be some missing pieces on how to apply the law. This article surely gave me a different perspective of how I could enjoy life better. I want to read this again and again, start enjoying life and get to inspire others to start living.

  13. Frederick Penn says:

    “You Won’t Be Happy, Until You’re Happy”
    By Kristen Howe

    Kristen, I love your genius. What a wonderful statement. I love it!
    I was watching a PSA to help poor African children. The children were playing, smiling, running, laughing and joyful. The children were happy. I asked myself, how could these poor little destitute chidren be happy? How? Because their happiness wasn’t dependent on having shoes, or air conditioning, or a new car, or new clothes or anything or anyone. Kristen, thanks for sharing your genius with me and everyone.

    • Kristen says:

      Amazing insight! That’s exactly the thing – and when you discover happiness within you, all of the stuff is just gravy – to be enjoyed, but not to be relied upon for happiness itself 🙂

  14. Delores Henriques says:

    I am happy for this info. I had just sent an email to my friend before I read yours. If I had read yours before may be I would not have sent it. I was telling her how depressed I was because I had been trying all summer to get a teaching job without success. I was telling her I could not understand why,I have to struggle so much because I had done everything possible to make myself marketable. I am not happy because of that. I know I have alot to be thankful for but its difficult struggling financially when I know I have the skills to live a better life.
    Thanks again

  15. Rose says:

    Good process! I especially like that you suggest not looking back at what came in the 5 minutes of writing, getting analytical afterwards. Just let it go!

  16. Dave says:

    Thank you Kristen…it’s such a simple thing know but so difficult to just be happy. There is so much too be happy for and I must admit I still am pressuring myself for the things I want. I need to look at the Power of Now…once more. Great article!

  17. Nature says:

    Kristen that was a wonderful share. Jared, you rock!
    I choose HAPPINESS

  18. Rosemary says:

    Reminder to Self:

    BE HAPPY!

    Not just
    When my building if full
    When my reistance to getting work done is gone
    When my husband becomes less negative about our finances
    When I feel that sense of achievement again
    When I get to my ideal weight
    When I can take a 2 week vacation (the 4 day vacation was great, I enjoyed it, but I want more. 🙂

    Not scared to be happy, just sometimes don’t think I deserve to be unless I’m constantly busy.

  19. Nihal says:

    Unhappiness begets from expectation. If the expectation does not materialize happiness would be elusive If it materializes one would pursue something else to be happy so it would always be elusive. There may be things to be happy in most lives but all that is formed would change that is the essential nature of all formations whether material or conceptual. Happiness or otherwise fall into the same category ie impermanence is the nature all things. Only way to overcome unhappiness is to be rid of all Attachments, Aversions and Delusion

  20. ed says:

    “i’ve decided to be happy because it’s good for my health” – Voltaire

    “you can choose to be happy for it’s own sake” – Bashar

    why do you want to be happy? personally i like the feeling of being happy so there’s my reason, and i’m 100% in control of it, nobody else.

    find a reason to be happy, and you will be.

    find a reason to be UNhappy, and you will be.

    it’s no more complicated than that, see what’s going on? you get what you focus on 🙂

  21. Abbas says:

    Dear Kristen!
    You are awsome as always. There was a time when my life was full of negativity, 100% in contrast with nature. It was about negativity about everything in my life. But gradually i learned how to be happy. It took long and i strived hard to change lots of my mental perspectives about how i see the world. This mental choes and the fight gave me hard time but i knew i had found the way to prosperity. I did exactly bringing the happiness in “Now” and now i am a new person out of the my old one. I feel the difference and credit goes to being happy in “Now”.
    You are so true about what you say. Thanks for posting such topics.

    I believe in myself and deserve to be happy through out my life during all stages.

  22. ABDALLAH says:

    You’re right just because this is the reality,but i have a question for you :
    Have you ever seen the movie : Pursuit of happiness ?

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