Welcome back to the current issue of the Law of Attraction Key Newsletter!
Do I have your attention now? I have been receiving so many emails about how to handle negative relationships that I knew I had to talk about it this week.
Make sure you have a 3×5 notecard handy for the Quick Tip section of this issue, the power statement I give you needs to be something you see as often as you can.
Thank you, in advance, for your comments – when you let me know what is going on with you here and on Facebook, I am able to specifically address the things that are important to you.
I also want to thank you for sharing the ‘Law of Attraction Key Online Magazine’ with your friends and family – I am so grateful to be a part of your journey!
Life Mastery Is Yours!
P.S. Let’s connect on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/GoBigCoach – I’ll see you there!
“Where there is negativity, there is positivity –
— Kristen Howe
Negative Relationships – 3 Steps to
Reverse the Negative Energy
By Kristen Howe
Relationships are a part of life and they can be enriching and so positive or they can pull at you and surround you in negativity. And many relationships are a combination of the 2 (positive 1 minute and negative the next) and that can be even more confusing.
You know you can’t control other people and you don’t want to abandon your negative family and friends. Running into negativity in strangers, co-workers, bosses, friends, family, and (yes) even yourself is inevitable, it is part of being here and being alive.
So, what do you do? How do you stay injected in life without negative energy sucking your energy and self-confidence dry?
You CAN do this – and I’m going to help – right now.
Before I give you the 3 steps to reverse the negative energy, there is an important element that I want to start with…
We see and are around negativity all the time that DOESN’T affect us.
Think about it – does every single negative thing that happens around you affect you and pull your energy down? No, of course not, if it did, you wouldn’t be able to function.
Likewise, we see and are around positivity all that time that DOESN’T affect us.
So, why does certain negativity get to us?
The answer lies here – when we attach the meaning of the source or the purpose of the energy to be directly related to us, then it becomes personal (to us). The second we define it as personal we have a completely different sensitivity to the negativity, because we feel we have something at stake.
Now, it is easy to define something as personal when someone else targets you with their negativity. But have you ever been in a car with someone who gets cut off and instantly takes it personally as if the person who cut them off specifically targeted them?
We do this all the time – we translate the energy around us and something that will greatly assist you in releasing negative energy is to realize that how you are translating the energy may not be the intention of the energy in the first place. Accepting that gives you some distance and opens you up to other possible translations.
I want to go back to the ‘we have something at stake’ idea – because truly, that is when we put up our guard, that is when we feel the need to defend. So, when you feel yourself having the instinct to defend or guard or explain or prove, take a step back, disengage from the negative energy – and when I say disengage from it, I simply mean, don’t allow yourself to REACT until you ask yourself this question…
“What do I feel I have at stake here?”
Whatever it is you feel you have to defend, guard, explain or prove will give you the answer.
So, let’s say someone comes at you – angry – saying you made a mistake on something that you know you didn’t make a mistake on. Your instinct is going to be to react and to instantly start defending your case. The second you do that, you engage the negative energy and when negative energy is engaged, it grows. BUT what if you chose not to react and not to engage until you asked yourself. “What do I feel I have at stake here?” When you take a second to disengage the negative energy – it instantly dissipates – you give yourself a second to choose your response and to choose to respond (not react) and then you can use the 3 negative energy reversing steps I am going to give you now.
Keep on reading for the 3 negativity reversing steps…
Free Audio: 5 Minute
When I say ‘reverse the negativity in your relationships’ that doesn’t mean you are suddenly going to do 3 things and make the negative person positive. It DOES mean that you will have 3 things you can do to shift YOUR reaction energy from negative to positive. Your reality is your reality – if you shift your energy and your reaction energy – you shift your reality.
And remember – you truly can’t control someone else. You can only control what part you play in the cycle of energy – so, from now on, ask yourself if you want to be part of the negative cycle or the positive one? You are that powerful, you can decide.
With that in mind, let’s get into the 3 Steps to Reverse Negative Energy…
The 3 Steps to Reverse Negative Energy Are:
Step 1: It has nothing to do with you.
How someone else is acting has nothing to do with you, even if it is directed at you. We all have our own dramas that we will play out with whoever is willing to play the other roles.
Every time someone directs negative energy at you, if you can remind yourself that it has nothing to do with you, it will shift your entire perspective and allow you to remove your stakes in the situation which will allow you how to respond differently and without a need to defend because it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.
When you are met with negative energy, make your new mantra, “It has nothing to do with me.” And you will be amazed at how quickly your energy shifts from negative to positive.
Step 2: Healing is in the opposite
When we feel discordant with someone and their energy, it is easy to get sucked into that feeling and start noticing anything and everything that gives us proof of how negative they are.
But the healing of the energy is in the opposite. Every single person has positive within them. I know it is true, because for the negative to exist, the positive must also be there.
So, your new approach is this…
When you feel discordant with someone and their energy, instantly start paying attention and looking for PROOF of their positive. Focus ONLY on this and your energy will shift from negative to positive quickly.
Step 3: Send love
Negative energy relationships (ongoing or fleeting interactions) need to shift for the good of all involved.
Fighting each other doesn’t work – and you can’t change another person and you can’t sit around waiting for them to change the energy of your relationship.
What you can do is send as much love toward the other person as possible, it may be hard at first, but when you do, they will feel less resistance from you. Negative energy feeds off of resistance. Remove the resistance and you raise the energy vibration.
Sending love doesn’t mean you are letting it be ok that someone treats you poorly, it does mean that you separate you from it and remind yourself that how they are treating you has NOTHING to do with you and everything to do with them and their pain and their scars and their struggles – and that pain, those scars and those struggles deserve love. Sometimes that adjustment in awareness can really help things resolve.
One of my favorite things to remind myself of is this – “I don’t have to like someone’s behavior, I don’t have to choose to be a part of it and interact with it, but I can see it for what it is, I can see where it is really coming from, and when I do that, I can send love.”
We all have behaviors that are covering our pain, scars and struggles – and we ALL deserve love.
And here’s the kicker – typically our negative behavior forms because we are protecting ourselves from something and often, what we create with our fear based behavior is the very thing we were protecting ourselves from in the first place.
For example: Jane feels unlovable – and her greatest fear is feeling disconnected from the people she loves because to her that means she really is unlovable. So, to protect herself, she pushes the people she loves and puts tons of pressure on them to connect – because of that pressure, the people she loves back off. She feels that distance and panics because her greatest fear is that she is unlovable. And then the cycle begins again.
Does all of this mean that you just take it and allow yourself to be a punching bag? No – because being a punching bag or not saying anything and leaving things unresolved only adds to the negative energy. What this does mean is that you can inform your response with love and with a certain amount of distance so that you don’t take it personally AND you can learn to look for the opposite energy in everyone and every situation – when you do, energy will shift within you and around you.
And remember 1 final thing – you are magnificent and you don’t need to prove that to anyone because it is the truth. I believe in you and I send you love!
|Quick Tip||Look Who’s Talking…|
|Get a 3×5 index card and write this…
“I decide what part of the energy cycle I am – and I choose to be part of the positive flow. That is my choice and I inform every interaction with myself and others with this powerful awareness.”
Put the 3×5 card where you can see it during the day – put another one in your wallet – and another by your bed…
You get the idea – the key is to remind yourself that you choose – you are that powerful!
Your e-mails truly mean so much to mean so much to me. It is nice to start my day with a connection to you. I am thankful getting any and all of your messages.
You truly are a blessing to me and I am sure so many across this earth and beyond.
May you and yours be blessed with all you may be in need of.
Love & light,