Self-Fulfilling Prophesy = Negative Loop of Reinforcement

Welcome back to the current issue of the Law of Attraction Key Newsletter!

There is something that is heavily contributing to most of the struggle and negative, defeating patterns we experience and I MUST share it with you today. It is called The Negative Loop of Reinforcement and I guarantee it is impacting your life even if you don’t realize it yet.

Honestly, if you are struggling with anything in your life, please take a few minutes to read this article I wrote for you all the way to the end…

Also, in the Quick Tip section of this issue – I give you a quick way to release your resistance that doesn’t require tons of time trying to figure out exactly what your resistance is. Believe me, you want to start using this now.

I look forward to your comments about this article and always appreciate you sharing your journey with me here.

I also want to thank you in advance for sharing this with your friends and family – when you share, you help raise the vibration and that’s extraordinary!

Life Mastery Is Yours!

Kristen

P.S. Let’s connect on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/GoBigCoach – I’ll see you there!

 

“Your true expectations are the
defining factor of every moment,
opportunity and relationship.”

— Kristen Howe

 

Self-Fulfilling Prophesy = Negative Loop of Reinforcement

By Kristen Howe

Negative Loops of Reinforcement are the cause of a massive amount of struggle (I would even venture to say 90% or more). By the end of this article, you will understand exactly what the impact is on your life and quick way to FREE yourself from any negative loop of reinforcement.

Now, before we get into negative loops of reinforcement, we first have to look at self-fulfilling prophesies because there is a connection between self-fulfilling prophesies and negative loops of reinforcement and the resulting excuses that form and have a drastic impact on your life.

First, let’s take a look at a definition I found by business dictionary(.)com, for “self-fulfilling prophesy”…

Self-fulfilling Prophesy:

Any positive or negative expectation about circumstances, events, or people that may affect a person’s behavior toward them in a manner that causes those expectations to be fulfilled.

Okay, so what does this mean to you? Well, what we are looking at here is that when we have a predetermined expectation about something we will act in alignment with that expectation and our resulting actions will actually cause what we expect to happen to actually happen. At that point, our expectation is reinforced.

Since that’s a whole lot of words that seem to loop around in a big circle, let me give you an example…

A friend of mine is a consultant; she is great at what she does but is really struggling to get new clients and strong business connections. One day she was sharing her struggle with me and told me she felt like she was doing everything and yet nothing was working. She told me she had even been going to a monthly networking event for over 6 months. Then she told me something that I found very interesting…

She said that she knows the networking event is a waste of her time since she has been going for so many months and still hasn’t done any business because of it and yet she feels like if she doesn’t go she might miss something. Talk about a negative expectation right?!

Of course I was curious, so I asked her if I could join her the next time she went – she was excited to have company and quickly said, “YES!”

The night of the event arrived and as we were driving there she told me again, at least 3 more times, how she just knew this was a “waste of time event”. And for the entire evening, I watched as my friend walked up to groups of people and listened into whatever conversation was happening – didn’t really say anything herself and then moved on to the next group. This went on for 2 full hours until we left. And on the way back she said, “See, I told you that would be a waste of time!”

Now, let’s look at this example and her self-fulfilling prophesy. First of all, she had decided ahead of time that the event was a waste of time and wouldn’t result in any business for her. That was her negative expectation. So, how did she behave that caused her expectation to be fulfilled? Well, she walked around and never actually engaged with anyone – it is tough to do business or even connect with people if you don’t share and listen and then contribute based on what you hear.

Did her behavior cause the event to be a waste of time for her as she expected? Yes! And, this is the important part, because she was “right” about the event being a waste of time, her negative expectations were reinforced for the next time.

Now you can see how this can become a debilitating loop of negative reinforcement…

The Loop of Negative Reinforcement

Negative Past Results (history) = Negative expectation for the future (self-fulfilling prophesy)

= Negative Past Results (history) = Negative expectation for the future (self-fulfilling prophesy)

= Negative Past Results (history) = Negative expectation for the future (self-fulfilling prophesy)

And so on and so on – in other words, the loop doesn’t end until you consciously break it!

Now, I do want to point out that loop of reinforcement can be positive or negative and when it is positive, that’s fantastic. However, what we are talking about today is when it is negative.

Why?

Because…

It can be crippling.

Keep reading to discover how to free yourself from a Negative Loop of Reinforcement…

FREE: 7 Easy Steps to
Attract Prosperity in Every
Area of Your Life:

Free Report

 

Now let’s look at how a self-fulfilling prophesy and a negative loop of reinforcement QUICKLY becomes an excuse to stay in the same negative, limiting patterns that have held you back time and time again.

The easiest way to make this crystal clear is to go back to our example and show you how my friend’s negative loop of reinforcement became her excuse to re-create her negative, limiting pattern…

My friend had the experience at the networking event AGAIN – and then she looked at me and said, “I’m just not good at networking, I’m great at delivering my product, but I am a terrible net-worker.”

And when she said that, I suddenly saw that her self-fulfilling prophesy at the event was giving her an excuse to continue act in agreement with the label she had for herself as a ‘bad net-worker’.

Does that make sense?

We actually start with a negative judgment of ourselves and that negative judgment helps us form the negative expectation and the negative expectation causes us to act in a way that supports that negative judgment which then creates the exact negative expectation we had to occur which then gives us reinforcement in our negative expectation for the next time AND gives us an excuse not to change anything because we have just had our negative judgment about ourselves proven as true, so ‘what’s the use trying to be different.’

YIKES!!! Now take a deep breath, because it doesn’t have to be this way…

The good news is that you can FREE YOURSELF from any negative loop of reinforcement and you can re-define who you have decided you are when you are willing to do 1 simple thing…

Play the WHAT IF Game

Take a look at any negative judgments you have about yourself and then notice where those might be big influencers on your self-fulfilling prophecies.

Then take a look at one of those self-fulfilling prophesies (like my friend’s networking event) and ask these questions…

  1. What do I expect to happen here?
  2. Because I expect that to happen, how do I behave?
  3. Do my behaviors then cause my expectations to come true?
  4. WHAT IF I expect something different and choose to expect (what you want to happen)?
  5. With that NEW positive expectation how must I behave?

Just be becoming aware, you will be amazed at the shifts that begin. And as a side note, my friend played the “What If Game” and at the next networking event she made the decision to authentically interact in every group she stopped at. By the end of the night she had 18 business cards and had handed out over 20 of hers. And she connected with one woman who wanted to discuss how she could share my friends consulting options with her clients and vice versa as they were very compatible businesses. Did she walk out of there a millionaire? No.  However, as a direct result, she did end up with almost 50 new leads and several new clients. And most importantly, she created a NEW and POSITIVE Loop of Reinforcement – so imagine what’s possible for you!

 

Quick Tip Look Who’s Talking…
When you consciously decide to ‘expect differently’ you have to be willing to release any blocks you have to your new expectations.

Contrary to popular belief, this doesn’t require that you spend tons of time ‘figuring things out’.

There is great power in simply repeating the following, when you feel resistance creeping up – my favorite thing to do is say it rapidly 20 – 50 times. When you do, you will feel your resistance lift:

“I lovingly release all of my blocks and resistance.”

 

 

“Thank you Kristen, I love the 7 steps to powerful intention!I have worded mine much the same as you in my new little notebook.

I bought it yesterday for the sole purpose of writing all your tips and guidance in – I call it The ‘KRISTEN CRYSTALS’, because you make everything so perfectly clear.

I am being so much more patient and tolerant of myself since starting this special [Prosperity Pyramid] course of yours.  I just know i will get all the results I ask for in my life for my highest good and the good of others.

Thank you so very much, Kristen!

Angela M.”


14 Responses to “Self-Fulfilling Prophesy = Negative Loop of Reinforcement”

  1. Lynette St Cyr-Caesar says:

    Thanks for the help to release resistance.
    Very positive self talk.
    Thank you Kristen

  2. Kashema says:

    Thank you very much Kristen. i am in a similar position as that lady right now. i can’t seems to get any leads, left alone any new clients in my network Marketing company. i see now that i am the problem, i am causing negative believes to go into negative action and then gives me negative results.

    Thanks for your help and i look forward for your continuous support. i need to reach my goals in 2014.

    • Kristen says:

      Hi Kashema!

      I am so excited for you – remember, claim responsibility however love yourself and remove any judgment you may have of yourself – that is when you can FLY! 🙂

  3. Issie Olwage says:

    Wow! Is all I can say Kristen! My 21 year old is going for an interview tomorrow morning at 11:00am and I have been praying for the words to give him confidence. He is partly dyslexic and has no confidence in his abilities, although he is brilliant with his hand, and solving mechanical problems, book work is not his thing and at school you know how cruel kids can be! I have just read your article to him out loud, and guess what he walked away with a GREAT BIG GRIN on his face, and said as he went, “Hay mom, I am positive that it would be a good interview AND I AM GOING to get the job tomorrow! Thanks Mom!” – to see that totally stress free happy face smiling at me was such a gift. Thank you, and God Bless you in all you do and those you help!!

    Issie – Zimbabwe

  4. Candice Sobers says:

    The mind motivates action, I believe a negative outlook generates more negativity. I was grateful for the reminder this abstract provided. Just simple enthusiasm attracts others to at least give you a chance.

  5. Gerardo says:

    Thank you, I truly believe this is no coincidence, as I am having an issue of wich action I should take with so many life coaches out there, claiming they have the awenser . Reading this article pulled down a veil of confusion I couldn’t quite pinpoint , until now. Will definitely put into practice the affirmation as you suggest , thank you again Kristen…………

  6. Silvia Sardinas says:

    I was once your friend… I did the networking for a very small business
    Spanish Translations and since living in Florida, I thought it might work and
    to make a success of it …. I went to the networking place and I did not
    have the confidence I needed to speak up, you see i have a slight accent
    and since high school i get getting: “can you repeat that I do not
    understand you” or where are you from? .. to me it sounded very critical
    and ever since i rather right than speak.. after all … if you misspell a word
    you can always correct it… Needless to say, Spanish Translations closed.
    At that time, I needed someone special like you to help me through “the blocks
    that we create in our minds, because of what people have said to me.
    God Bless Them and i pray they are very successful in their business and
    personal life.. Thank You Kristen … i believe you are never too old or young
    to learn! And God Bless You and Yours Abundantly!

  7. Zahraddeen says:

    Im a very optimistic person, with a strong believe in the positivity of my out come, but some times people will try to convince me that, my optimism is infectious, and convince me to believe it could be other wise, and some time they over rule my optimism and made me to think 50:50, which eventually, caused me to loose my desire, by creating a little doubt, that, i shouldnt be 100% in my believe, reason being i cant be sure, eventually jeopadising my out come with the little doubt casted in my mind,in the name of risk management. prior to that, I cant mention the number of times i realised my dreams effortlessly, just after visualisation, without even this knowledge of holding my dream consistently on the screan of my mind, in the present tense, to enable vibrating in harmony with all the necessary energy particles, required to crystallize in manifesting my desire into the realm of my visible existance( Bob Proctor) but know I need re inforcement strategy, to continue experiancing crystallisation of my dream accordingly and timely.

    Thanks Kristen, you are GREAT!.

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