Welcome back to the current issue of the Law of Attraction Key Newsletter!
Do you struggle with feeling abandoned, anxious, depressed, empty, alone, guilty, ashamed or angry? The answer (and solution) might not be what you think. This is SO important, so I brought in Dr. Margaret Paul to help you today.
Truly, if you struggle with any of these negative emotional cycles, please take a minute to read this now and you can be on the path to freedom right away.
Also, in the Quick Tip section of this issue I give you 1 simple question that can completely shift you from self-judgment to self-love. How exciting is that?!
I want to thank you in advance for sharing your comments and questions today? It is amazing to be able to hear from you and help you along your journey – your voice is unique and valuable! When you leave comments and questions after these articles, it helps me get to know you and what you need and how I can best help. I highly encourage you to take action – leave a comment or a question and come back for my reply – I look forward to talking with you here!
Life Mastery Is Yours!
P.S. Have you connected with me on Facebook yet? I’d love to see you there: http://www.facebook.com/GoBigCoach
“Send love to yourself, every day – you deserve it – you are extraordinary!”
— Kristen Howe
Are You Abandoning Yourself?
By Dr. Margaret Paul
Do you believe that feelings of abandonment are coming from others abandoning you – or do they come from self-abandonment?
When we think about abandonment, we generally think about being left by someone. But abandonment is about leaving someone we are responsible for – a child or an old or sick person who cannot take care of themselves and whom we have agreed to take care of.
As a healthy adult, another adult can leave you, but they cannot abandon you, since they likely have not agreed to be responsible for you.
It might seem strange to you, but, as a healthy adult, when you feel abandoned by someone, it is not actually about them. It is about having abandoned yourself.
Most people don’t think about how they abandon themselves because they don’t recognize that they are responsible for themselves – physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially, relationally and organizationally.
Sometimes we abandon ourselves in one area and take responsibility for ourselves in another area. For example, you might work hard to make a good living and have learned how to manage your money, which means that you are taking financial responsibility. But you might be abandoning yourself physically by eating poorly, not getting exercise and not getting enough sleep. When this is the case, you are physically abandoning yourself. Or perhaps you take organizational responsibility by being on time and keeping your environment neat and clean, but you abandon yourself relationally by giving yourself up and/or not speaking up for yourself.
One of the most common ways that many people abandon themselves is emotionally. Most people don’t realize that they are responsible for learning to lovingly manage their feelings. Few of us had good role models for managing our painful feelings in ways that support our highest good. Instead, we learned many dysfunctional ways of avoiding our feelings.
I’ve discovered four ways that many people emotionally abandon themselves:
How often are you aware of judging yourself? Do you tell yourself that you are not good enough, that you are a failure, that you are stupid, or ugly or bad? I don’t think I’ve ever counseled a person who didn’t judge their self in some ways.
- Staying in your head rather than being present in your body
Do you spend most of your awake time thinking, being unaware of your feelings? Is thinking a way you’ve learned to avoid feeling your feelings?
- Turning to various addictions
Have you learned to turn to various addictions to avoid feeling your feelings? Do you indulge in substances, activities or various forms of controlling behavior to avoid your feelings?
- Making another or others responsible for your feelings
Do you look to others for the attention and approval that you are not giving to yourself? Do you then try to control them with anger, judgment, compliance, withdrawal or resistance, in order to get them to give you want you want?
Keep Reading to Discover What Your Inner Guidance System Is…
Do you experience feelings of unworthiness and inadequacy?
Feelings—Your inner Guidance System
The problem with emotionally abandoning yourself in any of these ways is that you are bypassing your entire inner guidance system.
For example, do you know how you feel when you abandon yourself?
Most people feel anxious, depressed, empty, alone, guilty, shamed and/or angry when they abandon themselves, but they rarely connect these feelings with their self-abandonment. Instead, they believe they feel this way due to something external.
If you start to tune into how you feel when you judge yourself, or when you are in your head thinking rather than being present in your body, or you are acting out addictively or making others responsible for you, you will discover how awful you are making yourself feel. You will discover that your feelings of anxiety, depression, emptiness, aloneness, guilt, shame, abandonment or anger are letting you know that you are abandoning yourself.
Do you want to know this? If you do, make a decision to start learning from your feelings, rather than avoiding them. You will discover that when you learn to take emotional responsibility, it becomes far easier to take personal responsibility in all other areas of your life.
|Quick Tip||Look Who’s Talking…|
|What if you embraced yourself?
What if, every time you felt anxious, depressed, empty, alone, guilty, shamed or angry, you decided to send love to yourself?
Imagine if a child came to you feeling any of those feelings – would you turn them away?
Would you tell them they were stupid or that they were making everything up?
Of course you wouldn’t – it is time for you to give the love and compassion you would give to someone else to yourself.
The next time you find yourself in any of the above negative emotional states, ask yourself this question – and when you do, pay attention to what comes to your mind AND to what you feel in your body…
“I’m feeling _______ – how can I send love to myself right now?”
Asking this question will instantly shift your awareness and your being-ness from judgment and abandonment to acceptance and love – and within that lies all the healing you need.
I just wanted to say I am so thrilled to see you creating programs!
I have followed you on the Manifest Everything Now webinars, and absolutely LOVE you! You have got to be the best interviewer I have ever listened to. You conduct the interviews with such class and poise, and you have this warmth that shines when you speak – it makes the listener very comfortable, and creates automatic trust.
When I saw the email about the Ultimate Manifesting Shortcut, watched the video and loved it, I immediately ordered your How To Attract Money Fast program. Then to my delight, I saw you had an Affiliate Program up and ready – so I IMMEDIATELY signed up for that, of course!
I want to let you know that this was the most well prepared, set-up, and easy to use process to sign up as an Affiliate that I’ve EVER seen. It was a snap to do – and with you having everything organized so that my affiliate link was instantly created and included in links and banners right on the page – talk about giving a person incentive to get promoting right away!
Terrific job Kristen, I just wanted to let you know that 🙂 I am so happy to share “YOU” with everyone I know, and also advertise on my website.
Love and hugs,