Is the Word “Well” Ruining Your Life?

Welcome back to the Law of Attraction Key Newsletter!

There is something I call the “Well” Trap and it just may be ruining (or at least keeping you stuck in) certain areas of your life. The good news is, it is easy to spot and what I share with you in the article I wrote for you today will help you free yourself from it with ease.

The best part is this will make your life easier AND it will absolutely benefit ALL of your relationships as well…

Also, in the Quick Tip section I give you my favorite way to speed up the transition between the “Well” Trap and Solution Vision – I’m excited for you to use this!

What’s on your mind? I’d love to hear from you – leave me a comment or a question today – you are unique and I can’t wait to hear about you! When you leave comments and questions after these articles, it helps me get to know you and what you need and how I can best help. I highly encourage you to take action – leave a comment or a question and come back for my reply – I look forward to talking with you here!

Life Mastery Is Yours!


P.S. Have you connected with me on Facebook yet? I’d love to see you there:


“Sometimes when you resist solutions, you simply need to let off steam…”

Kristen Howe

Is the Word “Well” Ruining Your Life?

By Kristen Howe

A good friend of mine called me the other day and she was STRESSED. She asked me if she could bounce what was going on with her off of me to see if I could help her resolve what had become a very challenging situation at work.

Now, the details of her challenging situation don’t have any impact on why I’m writing this for you today – however, the word “WELL” does.

Let me explain…

She told me what was going on, and since she had specifically asked for my help, I jumped right on the solution train…

I suggested one approach and she responded, “Well…I could do that but…”

So I regrouped with another idea and she said, “Well…that might work but…”

Not to be deterred, I came up with a 3rd idea and she said, “Well…I would love that but…”

Suddenly I realized this conversation was not going to lead to a solution and my instinct was to fight for my ideas, to sell her on why they would work yet I realized, there was 1 word that was going to have me beating my head against a wall, and that word was, “WELL…”

The conversation came to an end a few minutes later, she thanked me for helping and got off the phone. A few days later, she called me again, she was much more calm this time, and she said, “What was that last idea you had for me the other day?” I shared it with her again and this time she said, “Yes, that is definitely worth some attention – I’ll let you know how it goes.”

So what happened? Why was she able to make that shift?

I can’t tell you for certain as it was her personal process, however, I have noticed that when people try to solve things in a stressed state of mind they tend to become attached to the negative picture (that’s where the word “WELL…” comes in) yet, when they calm down and get a little distance, they can see differently and solution vision becomes possible again.

Keep Reading to Discover How to FREE Yourself from the “Well” Trap…

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Listen, it happens to all of us…

Something happens in our life and we constrict around possibilities (even though we really desire a solution). You aren’t doing anything wrong when this happens, however if you try to “fix things” when you are in this state, you are setting yourself up for a lot of frustration.

So, pay attention to when you are looking at a possible solution and if your first instinct is to think or say “Well…that could work but…” or anything like that – then shift your focus elsewhere and come back to it later. I know that sounds counter intuitive however, when you do this, you allow your attachment to the negative picture to get smaller so you can then see things with solution vision.

This is also a very powerful thing to remember in relationships – and I mean ALL relationships, love, business, friendship, parents, children, strangers etc.

And here’s why (actually there are 2 reasons why)…

Reason #1:

If you have gone to someone for assistance and you notice that you are responding to their suggestions with “Well…” Then you know it isn’t the time for solutions yet and you can very simply say, “Actually, I want to be open to solutions for this right now, but I’m not there yet, can we come back to this later?”

Believe me; handling it this way will remove a lot of frustration for BOTH of you.

Reason #2:

If someone comes to you for assistance and you notice that for every solution you suggest they respond “Well…” realize that this isn’t the time for solutions and instead simply offer emotional support.

Now, a quick note on that – please do not point out the “Well” Trap to them when they are in this state because it will not end well (no pun intended)…

Here’s the deal – the “Well” Trap will only ruin your life if you continue to try to push through and come up with solutions when you are in that state because your intentions won’t be in alignment with your true desires at that moment – however, when you simply use it as an indicator of where you are in the process, you can shift your focus elsewhere and return when you are ready and willing to have solution vision and your life will be much easier and even challenges will much have less struggle.

Quick Tip Look Who’s Talking…
Often the simple awareness of the “Well” Trap will cause the shift to solution vision to happen faster. To assist this transition, use this…

Ask yourself, “I know I will discover a solution, however, what do I really need right NOW?”

Often you will discover that you need support or to just let off some steam and when you let yourself have what you really need in that moment (as opposed to forcing yourself into solution mode prematurely) the entire process speeds up infinitely!


“Kristen:You are so intriguing to me, in a very good way.

There is something different and very real about you that simply captivates.

I can actually “FEEL” your heart, your love and your authenticity thru your writing!

Interestingly enough, what I feel with everything that comes from you is precisely what this article is about, how Powerful you are! Thank you for telling me that I Am Too!

This really is what I need to know and believe and remind myself of every single day.


25 Responses to “Is the Word “Well” Ruining Your Life?”

  1. What insights you raise! For years (33 to be exact), my husband has fumed and fussed over perceived problems. Sensing that I could help, I come up with solutions, which he rejects because he just wants to let off some steam. He doesn’t say “Well, but” but I’d been searching for why he holds on to the problem (often for years) when the solution comes to me so easily and effortlessly. He’s a good man, and it appears his whole family deals with life this way. I do notice that after these sessions, although I don’t feel I’ve been of any help at all, he does momentarily relax. This relieves me of the feeling of responsibility for his reactions, and allows me to see myself in the mirror of his own perceptions.

    Thanks, Kristen.

    • Kristen says:

      Hi Rosemary! So great to hear from you (I was just thinking about you the other day and was wondering how you are) 🙂

      I am always impressed with how honest you are willing to be with yourself and I am happy this raised some important insights for you!


  2. Christine says:

    Hi Kristen
    Thanks for the tips of what may be holding us back. The “Well Trap” I try not to use that word, unless I am making suggestions, Still, in my own life, I have problems and many set backs, both in work and in finances. The Law of Attraction has not attracted an easier way of life for me, as yet. I certainly could use more input.

    Again, thanks

  3. james says:

    thanks for your letters. I need more patience.

  4. Theresa says:

    Fantastic article! I can see this has happened in the past with me and with others! Thank you!

  5. Jill D'Aubery says:

    Kristen, I suspect that along with “well,” and possibly an even bigger obstacle would be the word, “but.” I notice that “but” plays a huge part in every one of your examples. Just a thought.

    However, (another interesting word) I do understand what you were saying in your article…someone very close to me almost always comes up with a “reason” for why something won’t work, or why it shouldn’t even be attempted in the first place. I’ve always considered that to be a learned fear, probably from childhood, of some sort and gone straight for the “Of course it will work” approach. Which usually means that he will find some way to unconsciously sabotage whatever it is making it much more difficult for me to actually accomplish it. I’m going to use your approach next time this happens. I’ll let you know how it works out.

    • Kristen says:

      Yes Jill – you noticed the word BUT as part of all of those for a reason – Well is the first line of resistance and BUT is the second!

      I’m excited to hear how it works out!


  6. Domenique Delafield says:

    Thank you for the very profound insight. Super simple and very life changing for self and how I relate to others.

  7. lim kooi says:

    Thank you for sending me this splendid and uplifting article. Actually what is said in the article is so simple that I doubt few people even realize or think about it. And that is genius. Very often It is the simple things that are hampering our progress in life. Once again, thank you so much.

  8. maria says:

    You have tapped in exactly where I am struggling.I watched the video between the article with tears streaming down,I do not lie here,but imagine Iknow abundance is my birthright,need,need this info soooo… badly but I am totally temporarily BROKE,and it hurts.

    • Kristen says:

      Hi Maria!

      Here is something you can start doing right now to shift your vibration…

      Whenever you notice you are focused on what you don’t want – or anything that is a lower vibration – stop and think about the last time you laughed out loud – and replay it completely in your mind – you will instantly shift your vibration to a higher vibration which means you are instantly magnetizing higher vibration prosperity and abundance!

      I believe in you!

  9. maria says:

    It might just be.Now I need to watch that word well

  10. Marie says:

    Thank you so much for your dedication to assisting us through this very important aspect of our lives. I am truly grateful.
    Since I started doing the work that I do with the Prosperity Pyramid I am so much more aware of the resistance. I had the biggest push back from my inner mind when I started the “Message of a Master”
    Wow it is huge! So something must be shifting big time?

    • Kristen says:

      Hi Marie!

      Good for you! When you are aware of resistance, you can allow it to flow through you – and that is when BIG shifts occur!

      You are extraordinary – thanks for being here and sharing!

  11. Marie says:

    Thankfully I am getting past the “Well trap”

    Thank you very much

  12. Rene Remington says:


    I see how I have used this WELL TRAP myself. I was wondering if it could be a person desire, to uncover their own solution. Any thoughts on on that?

    Thanks so much, I promise not to point it out when someone is in it.

  13. LPR says:

    I have been asked for advice in the past from who I referred to as ‘but’ people. An expression I have avoided because of the frustration I felt when l heard it myself. The Well preface now rings bells! This has highlighted the need to be more tolerant when hearing this in future and a reminder for me not to use it!

  14. Theresa says:

    Well…..just kidding. Thank you for the article. I think I have fallen into the WELL more than once and I talking about in the last 3 days… I will keep aware of this and try to make a shift in my approach.

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