I had the most interesting AHA moment today…

Here’s what happened…

My amazing customer service manager, Gail, sent me an email…

She said that someone wanted to cancel their Go Big VIP Membershipย  and she couldn’t find them in the system.

I told her I would take care of finding them.

So I did, I looked them up and finally found them in Clickbank…now here’s where it gets interesting…

Under the reason for cancelling, they chose to put “Didn’t receive sufficient value to merit ongoing payments.”

Okay, no big deal — but the thing that was strange to me was that I didn’t recognize their name and I do 2 calls with my VIP members each and every month so that seemed odd.

So I looked into it further and discovered that not only had this person NEVER been on a single VIP call, or even emailed me a question they were having so I could answer it, they had actually NEVER even signed into the member site to use the monthly modules and workbooks…

And this was my AHA moment…

I realized that so many of us think that if we just buy something, the person who we bought it from will somehow change our life without us doing anything…

We don’t consciously think this — but subconsciously we do…

In this example, this (now canceled) member of my VIP Program didn’t do a thing to participate and actually look for the value.

It is absolutely my responsibility to provide as much value as I can — (and my program won’t appeal to everyone and that’s ok)…

But, it was his responsibility to show up and look for the value — and use the value — in fact, it was his responsibility to bring himself into the equation to get the most value for himself!

So here’s my question for you…

When you decide to do something or buy something — do you wait for the other party to bring 100% of the value? Or do you show up 100% as well?

Bring value to everything you do — bring yourself 100% to everything you participate in —

And you will gain the most value possible from that experience…

Leave me a comment and let me know how you can show up more to increase the value you get out of everything in your life!

Go Big!


54 Responses to “Value?”

  1. joe says:

    Hi Kristen,I do think a lot of times this is true,but sometimes it may be a bit different than you think.Like me I couldn’t go on the vip calls because I WORK EVENINGS, so I could not attend the calls.I miss most webinars for this very reason,(kind of sucks but such is life) But sometimes you just have to work around certain things like this ,maybe find a different venue,like right I belong to a membership site the records all the calls and also makes learning vids based on the vip and webinars,so I watch and listen when I get home,(a lot of times I fall asleep during them tho LOL!) Take care Kristen and keep up all the great work!

  2. Larissa says:

    Hello Kristen,

    I always expect me to participant 100% to get the most out of something.

    When I am uncertain whether I want to participant fully I stay away as I want the others to get the most out of it. A person that only participate to a lower percentage lowers the outcome for the others as well.


  3. Jenny says:

    Thanks for sharing your insights & for the valuable lessons that you share. It is interesting to observe how we can dodge taking true responsibility for own life but well worth the challenge if you grasp the potential. It’s always worth being brave in the long run!!

  4. John says:

    As a teacher you give to your students and your rewards are in proportion to the amount of giving you do, usually in what you learn from your students. As a student you learn in direct proportion to the amount of giving of your time and attention to your teacher and subject. This is how your rewards come. To adapt the old IT saying a bit, ‘Nothing in, nothing out’. You can’t please everyone, but it seems to me that Kristen pleases (and elevates)most people most of the time.

  5. Kathlean Fenning says:

    I have just started receiving your emails and don’t feelI can make a comment yet as I have not fully mastered it.

  6. John Dennis says:

    i want to thank you for making my life a better place to be ! just your positiv being has made my life easy’r to cope with and to know that there is way’s to live my life . i am a studend of life still at 55 years and being in a positiv mood makes it so much better ,thank you for being you ! regards John
    ๐Ÿ™‚ ps. one has to do somthing oneself to get results in life !

  7. Kristen,
    It is not just bringing 100% to the table that is the problem with any personal development program. It is in taking any action at all. On my review website, I have reviewed many excellent PD programs(yours among them) and while the best programs all make a call to action, users of these programs time and again fail to take action. Part of this is because some programs teach that you should only take inspired action and that makes it easy for the subconscious mind to rationalize that a specific action is not “inspired” but bottom line not taking action is the single biggest cause for our failure to achieve our dreams. Seize the Day-Take action-any action and then decide if it was inspired-do not pre-judge an idea or opportunity until you have actually tried it and then and only then decide if the action, idea or opportunity was inspired.

  8. I think that people over commit themselves all the time. When they sign up or download something, it is their intention to use it, but many times it gets forgotten among the gazillion other things going on. I know that I have a huge amount of data to read that I intended to read right away, but I let something else become more important, for whatever reason. However, just because there are not always enough hours in the day doesn’t mean that a person should blame the person they got the information from for not having the time to use it. I think cancellation forms need more options.
    I signed up for a program at and had to cancel because I could not afford the monthly cost. The program and materials are awesome, but I just can’t afford to pay $35/month, so I called to cancel and I told them that I couldn’t stretch my budget to allow for the expense. They were very gracious about it. I didn’t ask for my money back, I enjoyed all of the materials I received for my money; I just had to cancel future materials, and I told them so.

  9. Riel says:

    We live in different times – we go to the medical doctor and they “do things to us” give us pills, cut away fat, clear blojages etc. Most ofthe developed world’s illnesses are life-style illnesses and we suffer them happily waiting for the “cure” to come along that will change us without effort.
    Previously we had to do something – plant a seed, water it, care for it, harvest it and preserve and/or market it. We are out of that cycle and we believe we don’t have tobe 100% present to change ourseves! It sounds like a contradiction doesn”t it? Unfortanetely that is the way many people think and behave and then they blame others if no change takes place – we are part of the old technology were you have to do something, get involved to get results!

  10. Dave Allen says:

    Exactly like a new distributor buying a starter kit and expect the money to roll in and doing nothing to move themselves forward!

  11. Leila says:

    Hi Kristen, I think this is a great reminder. These days I think great teachers are great delegators. After a bit they get you to do everything yourself. Thanks.

  12. Melody says:

    Yep! This is big one and I have noticed it from past work with clients.

    Now my question is this – ‘If I can see it happening to me – the no show, no commitment, no action – where am I doing the same in my life?’

    Gotta go know and find out!
    Talk to you soon!
    And as always – thanks for sharing the AHA and giving me the push to answer the question!!

  13. Rosemary says:

    I love your program and participate as much as I can. Oh, I admit, I don’t fully participate, as there are just so many hours in the day (excuse? rationalization? reality?). What I mean is, I don’t always do the exercises in the program and get a little backed up in the e-mails. But, it is my responsibility, you bring value to me, and I wouldn’t trade your program for the world.

    Go Big, Kristen.

  14. regina says:

    I don’t think I am a VIP member but I am confused as well. I never thought that you could personally talk to each person one on one unless they paid big ‘money’. tHAT’S WHY I haven’t signed up for that.

  15. Les says:

    Hi Kristen,
    Having read the article, I asked myself the questions on a recent golf coaching course program that I had purchased with interesting results. My expectations was that the course material would improve my coaching by 40%. On comletion I had achieved a 10% improvement.
    having now asked myself the questions in your article, I had only applied myself to 25% of the material as I skipped the basics, mentally completed the physical exercises and only really took notice of the points/sections I was interested in. So the 10% increased matches the 25% attention input that I gave. Why should I expect more? I am now reviewing the entire course from start to finish.
    Thank you for the “kick up the backside”.

  16. Candice Joao says:

    I totally agree, we all need to do to receive, its no use praying to improve your income if you don’t look for a job, buy a lotto ticket or do something to help improve our situation.
    A great quote comes to mind
    “If you always do what you’ve always done
    you will always get what you’ve always got”

  17. Lydia says:

    Sometimes the astrological frequency is different . You want to help but the person is still not on that frequency …It is an internal clock ,a personal time and nobody can shift your life so quckly .Have to wait the next wave …But on a subliminal level the shift still works ..
    Of course , the intent has his energetical level .

    I really appreciate your time and concern .
    Best regards ,


  18. Elias says:

    I like your Aha moment, but I sense that may apply to relationships as well. I’m I correct in your view?

  19. Ken says:

    Thanks for the post. I must admit that I have had a problem similar to your customer( but thankfully not as extreme). I realized that I was exposing myself to a lot of potentially valuable information but not exerting myself to get the most out of it. I am working to correct this. Your comments will serve as added stimulus. Thanks

  20. What a pity that person cancelled because he didn’t think he got any value! I have gotten so value since starting with your Go Big Now! program–the monthly cost is such a reasonable value, not to mention the biweekly calls are SO invaluable…I’ve rearranged my daily/weekly schedules just to “make room” to attend them, have cut personal phone calls short when I look at the clock and quickly say, “Oh, gotta go! My Go Big call is in XX minutes!!” Value is what each of us perceives internally especially when we do “show up” and give 100% of ourselves…and when we do value ourselves, we will find the value in whatever we are doing to grow, improve ourselves and LIVE BIG. Thanks, Kristen; I’m glad to be in your program!!!

  21. Sometimes we are not committed to the project because we do not want to do the work neccessary. We are either too lazy, or have decided that we don’t have any cofidence in the person helping us. I know I have been guilty of the latter.

  22. Suleiman Maharaz says:

    Hi Kristen,

    You can only take a horse to a river, but you cannot force him to drink the water! Even at schools, why do we do assignment and prep reading on our own? To understand the lesson or materials we read. In order to be better people we have to read alot and practice, practice, practice…until we are perfect enough.

  23. Anita says:

    Hi Kristen,

    You are so right! I also had a little moment when reading your post. I have to admit that I have been guilty of the same thing in the past.

    Thanks for the reminder that it is up to us to make the changes and up to you to point us in the right direction!

  24. Mark says:

    I have appreciated your approach to getting the most out of ourselves even to the point of showing up. I have not yet given enough attention to the valuable information that you are sharing with us. Thank you for the insight. Mark

  25. HiKristen

    I agree with your comments here.

    I will be active with you When I have finished exam 11of 12 subjects for a Masters Degree in Business and Technology (MBT) at the University of NSW
    Sydney NSW Australia



  26. George says:

    Hi Kristen,

    This is just another take or version of ‘the more that you put into doing something the more you can get out of it’.

  27. Rina says:

    Yes it is so frustrating to see people suffer but they just dont want to give one step to help themself. If they don’t want to give that first step nobody can help them!

  28. Sunderrajan says:

    Hello Kristen, I used to think I was unlucky as amny times I used to end as a loser. But then the Law of attraction became clear to me. It is not that I was unlucky but I was creating myself a situation when I would end up standing right in situations where there was no luck what so ever. Now I find myself being attracted towards luck, abundance and relationship.
    Thanks for the coaching…

  29. Partho Choudhury says:

    A well written article. Yes, it is true that most of us expect miracles without putting in extra effort & expect an overnight miracle to take place.
    the bottom line is, however, that we need to work on ourselves and work very hard. After all ,mind reprogramming after years of conditioning isn’t easy.

  30. TIna says:

    You are right. Iโ€™m having similar problem.
    Iโ€™m struggling how to transform my knowledge into my experience.

  31. bmayse says:


    I agree with your comments. I bring value to what I do, who I am by showing up and participating. The more I participate the more value I bring and ultimately the more value that I get. Have you ever thought about recording your VIP calls for “members only” who cannot make the times the calls are scheduled of who might want to listen to the call again? Just a thought.
    I like your ideas, enthusiasm and your pointed questions. Thanks,

    • Kristen says:

      Hi Barney!

      All of my VIP calls are recorded and posted to the Members Only site for exactly that reason — seems like we are in sync! ๐Ÿ™‚

      Go Big!

  32. Liz says:

    Hi Kristen – Perfect timing! I had an AHA around similar issues on the weekend ie I now needed to get maximum value out of what I have rather than get more. Why did I want more of anything? (In middle of decluttering home & office). I didn’t but some part of me did, for a “feel good”! Filling up some other emotional need? Probably ๐Ÿ™‚ Old habits of lack and fear, like, get it now in case the opportunity runs out. I invest financially in learning, but how much do I risk/engage emotionally and timewise in my investment? Clearly some work needed on chipping away at this old reserved behaviour.
    Keep writing ๐Ÿ™‚ and BTW I loved the 16 Laws – Love the style and the content. I knew so much of it but your work put it all together so I could see what work I needed to do.
    So focused and concentrated effort by me and for me (that’s the change needed) to see real and tangible results for me by me.
    Thanks ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Kristen says:

      Hey Liz!

      Great to have you here and thanks for your great comments about the 16 Laws — I put a lot of love into my new program and I’m thrilled you got so much out of it!

      It seems like you are really ready to step into your greatness and I applaud you!

      Go Big!

  33. Gordon says:

    Hands up, guilty as charged. This has happened to me more times than I am proud to admit. Strange thing is, this last weekend, I promised myself I would take action on two downloads from last month that I haven’t got around to looking at. Thanks for the timley reminder.

  34. Swarna says:

    Hi Kristen,
    Thanks for the mail. I’m not a VIP member cause I culd’nt afford to pay.When it is converted to my curency it is very high and I couldn’t participate in any webinars yet due to the time diference.(I have tried to get the correct time but faild)
    Anyway, I agree with you. ’cause if we participate or purchase something, we too should be brave enough to get the full value of it with proper attending. Nobody can clap with a single hand.

    • Kristen says:

      Hi Swarna!

      Even if you can’t be in the VIP program – if you take action from the posts here at the blog you can start to get results!

      It is great having you here!

      Go Big!

  35. David says:

    I have enjoyed your material, but I must make some comments that may not be taken well. All of the self-help teachers out there have something of value to offer. It’s easy to lay the blame on the inability or unwillingness to act on the student, but the reality is that people’s lives are packed to the braking point with real-life things, and time can only be distributed in so many directions. Although the benefits of any self-help program can not be denied, there has to be a pracetical understanding that most people simply do not have the time to devote that seems to be necessary for achieving any meaningful results, so they do what they can, don’t get the results they hoped for and move on to try and find something else. I would love to be able to devote hours per day to yours or anyone else’s program, but the reality is that just won’t happen because life issues get in the way. If I am to be judged as being lazy or uncomitted, the I suppose I must accept that judgement.

    • Kristen says:

      HI there!

      Your comments are welcome here always! My response to you is that if you can find 15 minutes to an hour each day, you can change your life — I’m not guessing at this, I know it because that is what I did…you are right that hours a day is a crazy expectation — 15 minutes to an hour — and when you do that consistently for 1 to 3 months, the changes start to affect your whole life!

      Go Big!

  36. Ronnie says:

    Hello kristen,This post is Oh’so true.We humans are procrastinators and lazy by nature.Giveing 100% all the time would seem like too much effort….all the time.Change only happens if effort is involved.I admit I am guilty with no excuse’s.I have to suit up and show up.Participation in my own awarness is my responsibility!Thanks for the reminder!

  37. Lynn says:

    Kristin: From my experience, most people believe that someone else is responsible for their own happiness, results, etc. I had a potential client once say to me on an inquiry call…”well, good luck!” I proceded to tell her that she was not ready for a coaching relationship. She asked me “why?” I told her that by those words, she was placing full responsibility on me for her outcome. I told her to give more thought to if she was ready to take full responsibility. Two weeks later she hired me. I had 8 meetings with her, and she never got past the “victim” state. She never took responsibility for her own actions. She refused to look at her situation from a different view, so therefore, nothing changed for her. Did I provide value? YES! Did she? NO! The first step to a successful relationship would be to qualify our potential client. If we see any indication that they believe “we” are supposed to get them their result, we must recommend some more self reflection. Thanks for sharing this!

  38. Lee says:

    Oh wow, I wish more people could grasp this concept. I sell advertising for a living, I always explain to my clients that I merely provide the platform for them to expose their business…the thing that grabs their potential customers attention is their wording and graphics. My analogy to them is always even if I serve you up the tastiest meal, its not gonna jump into your mouth by itself…YOU have to pick up the knife and fork and get it to your mouth to really enjoy it.

  39. Rosemary says:

    Okay, okay, I’ll finish up the exercises from Call 2 (of the 2011 planning series). Resisted it all weekend, even when I had the time. Sheesh!

  40. J.R.Magdos says:

    Yes Ah,ha’s are great, I have had a few in my 64 years of life. I had one just last week reguarding a relationship I just got out of. I hope that when you cancelled his menbership, you sent along the information that he held responsibility as well. A person who is a menber of this tyep of program is one for a reason. It is usually that he needs help, a lot more then he will admit. I enjoy gathering you insights and knowledge, thank you.

  41. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Steve L. Vernon, QUANTUM ATTRACTION. QUANTUM ATTRACTION said: Comment on Value? by Kristen: Hi Barney! All of my VIP calls are recorded and posted to the Members Only site f… […]

  42. Esteban says:

    Hi Kristen

    My point of view is simple, each one of us must walk by the 100-0 rule, this mean you give 100% expecting nothing in return, and as you are already giving your 100%, then it seems that the equation should be complete.

    Best regards and keep up the good vibration!

  43. Ted says:

    Hi Kristen I enjoy your comments as I am 82 years of age and in a bit of a depressive state so have to try and keep thinking positive to have good thoughts for daily living I am in N.Z.all the best Ted

    • Kristen says:

      Hey Ted!

      I am so excited to have you in the ‘Go Big’ community! Remember, even if it doesn’t seem like it, there is always at least 1 thing (can be small) to be grateful for — that’s a great way to get into a positive state!

      Go Big!

  44. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by QUANTUM ATTRACTION, Steve L. Vernon. Steve L. Vernon said: Comment on Value? by Esteban: Hi Kristen My point of view is simple, each one of us must walk by the 100-0 rule… […]

  45. Gordon says:

    Perfect timing Kristen, thanks. No more using “research” as an excuse for not taking action. Today I commit to my 15 minutes to 1 hour of direct action every day towards my goals. Thanks again and God bless you.

  46. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Steve L. Vernon, QUANTUM ATTRACTION. QUANTUM ATTRACTION said: Comment on Value? by Kristen: Hey Ted! I am so excited to have you in the 'Go Big' community! Remember, even if… […]

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  49. Jody Pogorzelski says:

    You don’t have to look or even try hard to get value with you Kristen. I get lots just from your newsletters & blogs. You bring it to the table with your content everytime. :o)

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