Issue 196 – Should You Lower The Bar?

Should You Lower The Bar Instead of Raising It?

By Noah St. John

We often hear that we must “raise the bar” in order to improve our performance and be more successful. That term “Raise the bar” is a metaphor borrowed from the sports world, meaning to constantly strive for better, farther, faster.

While it’s a great aim to have, is it the way life really works?

For example, let’s say you want to be a champion high jumper, so you hire someone to coach you. On the first day of training, you run onto the practice field, all motivated and ready to go.

As you’re getting yourself psyched, the coach sets the bar at 7 feet high, because that’s where the world’s best high jumpers perform at. So you’re standing there looking at the bar waaaaaay up there.

The coach yells, “Come on, you can do it! Think positive! Get motivated!”

You, being the trooper you are, and not wanting to disappoint the coach, take a few steps back, then run as fast as you can, jump up with all your might… smack!

Not even close. You miss the bar by a mile.

“That’s okay!” the coach says. “You’ll do better next time.”

You gamely try again and again. The coach tries to keep you “motivated” through affirmations, visualization and positive reinforcement. But you miss that stupid bar every single time.

Will this method ever work? Of course not.

Yet, how many of us are doing this to ourselves every single day?

 For instance, let’s say you have a goal of making a million dollars a year in your business. What if you only made a lousy half million this year? Would you feel like you had a bad year… like you had failed?

Many people set themselves up to fail because their internal bar of success is set too high. Sometimes, our bar is so high that even when we DO accomplish something meaningful or significant, it never feels “good enough”.

But the great news is that all of this is within your conscious control. No one is setting the bar but YOU. No one is telling you “It’s not good enough” but YOU. And no one needs to change their mind but you.

Keep Reading for how YOU can harness this power for your benefit NOW…

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For example, one of my clients called me because she was reading my Afformations book, with her daughter-in-law. My client had earned millions of dollars and was highly respected in her industry. She told me that at one point in the book, she started to cry because it was so emotional for her.

I asked her what part made her cry. She said, “When I read the part about being enough!'”

Here was this highly successful person—someone others looked up to, even envied because of her success. Yet she herself didn’t feel good enough, even with all that outer success. Her bar really needed adjusting.

That’s why I often advise my coaching clients to LOWER the bar. Here are some examples of what I mean by raising the bar:

  • “I need to close more sales.”
  • “I need to write this article for my blog.”
  • “I need to make a million dollars by the end of the year.”
  • “I need to lose 20 pounds.”
  • “I can’t make a mistake.”

Sure, these are all fine things to shoot for. But what happens if you DON’T meet them? And what is your PLAN to achieve them in the first place?

Without a plan, all you have are more excuses to beat yourself up.  So, here are some examples I give my clients to LOWER the bar:

  • LISTEN to your prospects more than you talk AT them. This will naturally increase their trust in you, which over time will lead to more sales.
  • Write the first 100 words of your article. Then, write the next 100. Then the next. Pretty soon, you’ll be finished.
  • Take a course or talk to a financial advisor on smart ways to invest your money. Then, follow a strategic plan to grow your money.
  • Exercise for 15 minutes a day, every day.
  • Give yourself permission to make mistakes and learn better ways of doing things.

Take Action Challenge: List 5 things you can do today, this week, and this month to lower the bar.

Noah’s Note: Giving yourself permission to lower the bar gives you permission to be human, and permission to succeed.

Dear Kristen — I am a listener to your wonderful recordings. I wanted to THANK YOU for the quality and the depth of your choices. I have enjoyed tremendously what your guests have to say and even signed up for a few of the offers.
At last, I am excited to be connected to some people who are, like you and your guests, open to energy work, spiritual insight, and all that is true about Life and creation.
With gratitude, many thanks, Lauretta Z.”

Quick Tip

YES, I am such a fan of using “mini-wins” to gain you massive momentum. And one of the best ways to do that is to make sure you are actually celebrating the mini-wins.

Personally, I have time set aside each night to look back on the day and look for ALL of the mini-wins and then celebrate them!

I don’t use this time to think about what I wish I had done that I didn’t, and I don’t use it to discover how I can do better the next time – nope – I use it for one thing and one thing only…

To discover and celebrate ALL of the mini-wins I had that day.

Do the same and you will be setting yourself into an unstoppable momentum that is filled with JOY! How does it get any better than that?!

24 Responses to “Issue 196 – Should You Lower The Bar?”

  1. Christina says:

    What a refreshing idea! Thank you for this information.

  2. janet says:

    Love it. Mini wins. I just talked about this on Facebook. I call it blessings from God.

  3. Virginia says:

    Kristen – before going to bed I think of at least 5 things for which I am grateful for that day . That is a bit like looking at your mini-wins. Sometimes it’s something I got through without getting frustrated. Other times it’s for someone in my life or an unexpected pleasure. I agree with Noah about lowering the bar. Gain success quickly and then raise your bar !

  4. Colleen W. says:

    Thanks, Kristen & Noah!

    If more people learn these concepts, and use them, more Inner Peace is bound to be the result! And the more people walking around on this planet with Inner Peace, the more likely we will create Outer Peace! World Peace!! I will strive to do my part…although, I won’t set the bar TOO high;))
    Namaste and thank you both for sharing your insights!!

  5. Manfred says:

    I like your texts that I read occasionally. I wonder how you got my email adress.
    Are you somehow linked to Dr Alex Loyd’s healing codes newsletters?

    • Kristen says:

      Hi Manfred – Alex Loyd is a friend and colleague and it is very possible he recommended a free gift from me that you would have subscribed to – so that’s my guess as to how we found each other! 🙂

  6. Joshua Clayton says:


  7. When I first saw the Subject line for this article, my first reaction was overwhelming fatigue. I work so hard, and the thought of putting even more effort into my real estate business made me feel worse. I have no trouble making deals. My problem is getting them closed. And when they don’t close, there is no money for my efforts. Oh, solving problems is what I enjoy most of all. The other day, I ran into what appeared to be an insurmountable problem: The house did not appraise. But with help from the Seller (who didn’t want to lower the price), and an inspiration I had concerning the amount of the down payment (came to me out of the blue), the deal was put back together and, barring any other hiccups, it should close next Friday (the 26th).

    I read a real estate blog that those who don’t know how to delegate are doomed to working 24/7. That’s me! It took years before I could find a decent assistant, but even that is fraught with drama. The last one abruptly quit when her significant other and the father of her children was cheating. Fortunately, her cousin was available to take her place, and her cousin is in a stable marriage. My husband and I are enabling each other in the mistrust of people in general. We seem to be surrounded by unmotivated people. Maybe I should make up an afformation about getting over that trust issue, but I’m going to be 67 years old in about 3 weeks, and it’s hard to teach an old cat (I’m a cat not a dog person) new tricks. Any advice on what that afformation should be would be appreciated.


    • Kristen says:

      Hello Rosemary!!! It is so great to hear from you (and yes, I got your email as well and will be replying soon)

      Yes, as far as the trust element goes – everything we are feeling about our external world is reflecting something going on within us – so I suggest you take a look at your trust of yourself first – send love there and healing energy and your whole relationship with trust will begin to transform!


  8. Estelle Stauffer says:

    very interesting!

  9. Steve says:

    It’s not so much as lowering the bar, as it is to set multiple smaller, yet increasing goals. When I was running, I wanted to run a 20 mile race. I first had to learn to run a quarter mile without stopping, then one-half mile, then three-quarters, and on and on until I could run 15 miles, stopping only for water. It took a long time of raising the bar, but eventually, one day, I ran the then 20 mile March of Dimes walk to raise money. I do admit I had a difficult time walking for the next three days, but I achieved a significant goal – the top rung of the bar, so to speak.

    I am now poised to start my own business. I’m not setting any goal for a million dollars in sales for my first year. My goal is to go out and meet people and use my business to do so. I’d be happy selling $1000 my first year, and $1001 my second. I do have a goal to sell $80,000 to $100,000 by year 10. Until then, all sales are win-win. I’m starting my business with a lower, realistic, achievable goal, and then raise it a little at a time to full height.

    This was an excellent topic!

  10. Robert Conn says:

    very insightful and worth a look

  11. Sara says:

    I love it! I am so guilty of ‘never good enough’ and after losing almost everything, including my health, building back up from zero has been the biggest struggle of my life. I was so used to winning hand being on top that all I knew was ‘raising the bar’ and I constantly compared myself to my previous level. All that did was defeat me for far to long. I am finally climbing my way back up, slowly, but surely, but like you say I have had to step back and not expect so much all at once. I’ve had to celebrate my mini-wins! I really loved your idea of looking at everyday and celebrating mini-wins. I’m going to keep a notebook and every night record my micro-wins for the day. I think that is also a great way to remind myself what I’m grateful for everyday as well which maybe I’ll include in my notes! Thanks for the idea Kristen! 🙂


    i see I have been beating myself up! This newsletter brought it home about having the bar set too high…! I see now..,, I had mine too high. I have many accomplishments I overlooked by constantly striving to reach the high level of the bar.;;;–thanks —4 good advise. from -David

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