You Must Fail In Order To Succeed
By Dr. Alex Loyd
NOTE FROM DR. LOYD: I began to develop these Secret Spiritual Laws of Nature when I first started my private practice in counseling and therapy. In a very short period of time I had a six-month waiting list, and I give the great majority of the credit for that to these Secret Spiritual Laws of Nature. They can create an instant “aha” that changes a person’s perspective and attitude, and because of that, a lot of other things that people are working on will also change. I mainly realized these through prayer. I consider them a gift.
You Must Fail In Order to Succeed
A lynchpin for success is your attitude toward failure. We tend to believe that because we fail, we are a failure. That is absolutely the farthest thing from the truth. Success is built on failure 100% of the time.
The truth is that you cannot achieve success without failure. Think about it. If your life were on the line in a court action trial, would you want a lawyer who just passed the bar exam with flying colors, or would you want a lawyer who has been doing court trial work successfully for 20 years? You want the lawyer with experience. What does experience mean? It means a person has failed more than once and has learned from it. You can think of plenty of examples: hitting a baseball, shooting a basketball, or having a successful relationship. Anyone on who has ever been in a committed relationship knows you learn from failures how to do it right.
The problem comes when we identify with a failure and conclude, “I am a failure.” The experience of a failure is an event, but it is not you. It is vital that you change your beliefs and attitudes about failing to realize that failure is simply a necessary part of the success process. It may not be a pleasant experience, but it does not have to be a defeating experience.
What you learn from failure is the key to success, far more than what you do right the first time. When most people fail at something, they wonder, “What went wrong?” It would be better to ask, “What’s the lesson here?” It’s part of the journey. There is something in that failure that you need in order to be successful in the long run. If you don’t learn it, then you go around the block again. If you do learn it, then, once you’ve learned all the things you need, you become a success.
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So When I was first out of college I took a job selling insurance. It was probably the worst job I ever had, and a lot of you know why. One of the things I was taught in training is that you have to have 10 failures for every success, so call as many people as you can. The faster you get through the 10 people who say “no” to you, the faster you get to the people who want what you have to offer.
Like so many people, I couldn’t take the rejection. “No, no, no.” Boy, that hurt. But I had a good friend who started about the same time I did. Years later he had stuck with it and was driving a Mercedes, living in a huge house, and was very wealthy. He saw the failures for what they were, the foundation of success, and he learned from them and moved on.
When he was doing very well, had he learned to do it so well that he never failed anymore? Not at all. He said, “I still have a whole bunch of people say ‘no.’ The ratio may be 8 to 1 now instead of 10 to 1, but not everyone wants what I’m selling. I learned to see those no’s as something to learn from and as a way to find the person who says ‘yes.’”
How can you get to the place where you do see failure as a lesson and you do not see yourself as a failure?
Step number one is to heal the issues of your heart. These are your wrong beliefs – some conscious beliefs and some subconscious beliefs – that are in conflict with the success you want. The Healing Codes are created to heal the unconscious and subconscious issues of the heart.
Step number two is to change your conscious beliefs and attitudes about failure. Experiencing failure does not mean that you are a failure. Failure is a step to success. It is a foundation for success. It’s exactly where you need to be. There is a nugget in that failure that you need in order to become a success. The Healing Codes can help with this, too, replacing negative beliefs by instilling positive beliefs.
“THANK YOU! I can feel my energy and vibration totally rise just listening to you Kristen! I will be referring back to this when I feel like I’m in a bit of a funk 🙂 YOU ROCK!”
Some folks have a hard time (at first) looking at their moments of failure because they struggle with disconnecting identifying themselves as failures when they do.
The BIG TIP I can give you to help you with that is to give yourself some distance from it – that’s exactly what I did in the first sentence above – notice I wrote “Moments of failure” that instantly gives it distance. You can even take it a step further and call them “moments when things didn’t go as expected.”
Remember this – YOU are already extraordinary – You are NOT defined by the moments in your life, you define yourself by your attachment to them. So, choose to look for the opportunity within the “moments that didn’t go as expected” and you will be able to increase the joy, fulfillment and success you experience.