Fear and patterns…

I have some important questions for you…(and you know I love using the power of questions!)

  • What are you scared of?
  • When you feel fear what is it about?
  • What doubt grips at you and won’t let go?

Here’s the deal…

We all have fear and doubt, but I have a secret for you…

Normally WHAT we fear and doubt is a recurring pattern in our lives…

And this is what I mean…

Your fears and doubts may seem to be about different things, BUT when you really break them down, they are all the same 1-3 fears AND these fears have been the same for as long as you have had fear.


Do this exercise and you’ll understand…

  • Write down your top 3 current fears RIGHT NOW.
  • Now, look at those fears and ask yourself this —

“I know it seems like I am scared that (whatever it is you are scared of), but what I’m really scared of is that (whatever you are scared of) will mean that I  __________________ .”

Here’s a good example, let’s say you are scared you are going to have to declare bankruptcy, this is what your answers would look like…

“I know it seems like I am scared that (I will have to declare bankruptcy) but what I’m really scared of is that doing so will mean that I am a failure.”

So, what you are really scared of is being a failure…

  • Now, I want you to take it a step further and ask yourself why?

For example: “I am scared of being a failure because then people won’t love me and I’ll be disappointed in myself (in other words you won’t love yourself).”

In other words, what you are really scared of, is NOT being loved (by yourself and others)…


Here’s the important part…

  • Look back at different times in your life when you have been scared and do the same exercise —

Chances are good that your whole life, you have been dealing with the same 3-5 patterns of fear.

The great part about this is that you only have to address those issues — the real fears to rise above them —

Hear me now —

It isn’t about the specific thing you think you are scared of now, it is about 1 of your base recurring fears — and once you identify that, you can move on!

Leave me a comment and let me know what your REAL fears are…

Go Big!


19 Responses to “Fear and patterns…”

  1. Alfredo says:

    Good Morning Kristen. It is a coincidence that this morning during my early “meditation” I was also thinking about my fears!. I want to share with you that I realize that there may be two type of fears. The good and the bad, just like cholesterol! The bad are those that pull you back and most of the times are unnecessary but hard to get rid off. So the good ones are fears that keep you alive but they also could be the bad ones used in the right way. For example, the fear of failure may give me the motivation to succeed. What do you think?

    • Kristen says:

      Hi Alfredo!

      I like your way of looking at things! Yes I agree with you and your ideas — I would also like to point out that all of our fears develop with the intention of protection — sometimes (often actually) that protection is misguided and the fears only hurt us OR most often, the protection was something we needed but no longer serves us and is now holding us back…

      Go Big!

  2. Rosemary says:

    My 3 most current fears are:

    1. I’ll be broke.
    2. I’ll not be free to do what I want.
    3. I won’t have the time, energy or money to do what I want to do.

    They all boil down to an intense need for freedom, emotional freedom, financial freedom, and physical freedom. Lately, it seems I have been running around in circles trying to attain that freedom, but seemingly doing all the wrong things or being trapped in the wrong decisions I made trying to avoid being in this situation. This became especially acute when I just ran into a wall and could not do any more last night. So many opportunities, why couldn’t I rise to the occasion once more? I awoke this morning, thinking I would pay a certain bill that is due today, but couldn’t remember the stupid password. Okay, I’ll get to work early and pay it, then write up the lease, write up the offer, and do the many myriad things that come up in a given day. But I’ve become a debt slave. I’ve got to break out of this trap. Yes, Yes, Yes!

    Well, you asked, Kristen. Hear you on the call tonight.


    • Kristen says:

      Hello my friend!

      You are getting it — remember this, you aren’t free until you FEEL free — Nelson Mandela knew that true freedom and power was in his mind and in how he felt and responded to situations — he had to hold on for a long time, and things were certainly more than difficult, but he remained FREE the whole time — and that eventually out pictured into the physical world — you can be the same way!

      Go Big!

  3. Glenda says:

    I am afraid that something will happen to my granddaughters or my children and I am too far away to get to them in time.

    • Kristen says:

      Hi Glenda!

      Your love is always with them and THAT is the most important thing…have faith that even if you can’t get there right away physically — someone who can help them will if they need it…

      Go Big!

  4. This exercise helped me to realize my real fears which have been hidden deep inside me for several years. I realize now that I have always felt like “I wasn’t supposed to win and I would identify others who were greater and thus self-destruct”. Wow! Now what do I do? I have to face this and change. I must recognize myself and the great things I do well. Wow! Thanks Coach Kristen.

  5. ley says:

    Hi Kristen

    Yes, you’re right. Lately, I felt the same fears that I have before. When I think that I will fail at selling, it happens, but last 2 months back, I’m the top seller. Guss, I’ m scared that, I’ll not be able to maintain my sales record.

  6. Luiz says:

    So many years to find good news for old problems. After reading I’m feeling in harmony and with courage to keep UP. TKS. TKS

  7. Rob says:

    Thanks for your post it was very timely as I was just thinking about my biggest fear at present,and I agree that it has been a base fear that has haunted me throughout my life.
    In fact my fear does concern money like in your example,but I realize it is do to with how I value myself at a core level and that really I am scared of failing and being loved or being good enough in the eyes of others.
    Looking for outside gratification and acknowledgement has lead me to believe it’s never enough until we look deep within our own true selves and start to love from within and do this completely,the good the bad all of it!
    I am learning to focus on what is the highest and best use of myself and the value in sharing that.It is my hope that in pursuing this course I can overcome and transcend my deepest fear.
    Thanks again for shining some light where its needed!

  8. PANSY PIERCE says:


  9. Migen L. Osorio says:

    Dear Kristen,
    I remember when I was in my pre-teen years that I was afraid of the dark. I have outgrown that fear. Now I am faced with little fears like not being on time for appointments, or being unable to meet deadlines, or not having enough energy to pull me through the day. I am happy to report to you that I have practically crused big fears from existence. Fear is the opposite of love. Love is the antidote to fear.
    Thank you for your questions on what I fear most. They have opened my mind to the fact that I am generally not besieged by fear anymore. Also, I am on my way to developing self-confidence. Which is nothing but great.
    Thank you for letting me into your stream of communication. I hope that the next time I get in touch with you I can follow your aim for me to GO BIG!
    Sincerely yours,

    Migen L. Osorio

  10. timan says:

    Hi Kristen,
    It’s a great method.To master anything one needs to be a challenger.

    Go big,


  11. Trexx says:

    I’m afraid of going big in art because what if I failed and I’m not as good as I thought I was. What if I went out there and nothing happened. I would be a failure for all time.

  12. maher says:

    I don’t feel I,m scared or fearful.but feel I,m unluck to find a better job & increase my income.Does this mean something? I,m trying all ways I know to improve my income.I also try to hypnosis myself for a job I prefer…I still do.please recommend & Wish me luck.

  13. surendrarao says:

    we know that search,take and secure it all going process but 1st to end the knowledge proess we must know ,then know fear at all…. that means F=False,E=Empower,A=Appear,R=Real

  14. Siddig says:

    I am hesitatant in many cases, may be for fear of unknown or some times I feel that I am not strong enough take a specific decision. So, this reall affect my life negatively especially in accomplishing goals whatever they are, in long-term or short-term.

    Please advise

  15. Nkateko says:

    Awesome Info. Can you please inform me how to tackle the recurring fears once identified?

  16. F.F.Mtoga says:

    My fear is on wealth. Iam sure that I will be rich but how long it will take for me to get wealth and if I get it, am I able to compete with those successful companies?

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