Why Setting Goals Can Keep You From Reaching Your Dreams

Welcome back to the current issue of the Law of Attraction Key Newsletter!

You have been asking me for clarity on something important and today I am going to give you that clarity.

So what is this thing?

Goals – I get emails every day asking me about setting goals and reaching goals and the difference between forced action and inspire action and how you know if you are setting realistic goals and, well, you get the point.  🙂

You are struggling with goals and all of the mixed messages you get, and I hear you – I’ve been there. So let’s get into this together and get to the bottom of things, so you can stop worrying about ‘doing it wrong’ and start designing your life.

To help us dive in and give us a fresh and brilliant take on all of this, I asked my friend and “Law of Attraction Key Expert” Stephanie Mulac to write something for you to help you shift out of confusion and into creation.

To make sure this newsletter serves YOU; your comments and feedback are critical, so let me know what you think! You’ll find a link at the bottom of each issue that leads you to our site to leave your feedback.

Ok, let’s get started – I hope you enjoy this issue!

Life Mastery Is Yours!

Kristen

“Don’t limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do.You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you believe, remember, you can achieve.”
— Mary Kay Ash

 

Why Setting Goals Can Keep You
From Reaching Your Dreams

By Stephanie Mulac

I read an anonymous quote the other day on Facebook that simply said, “You’ll never achieve your dreams if they don’t become goals.” And while I understand the intent of this statement is to underscore the importance of setting tangible goals and remaining focused on attaining them, I couldn’t disagree more with the quote itself.

In fact, I would put forth that embracing this quote will actually thwart you from successfully achieving your coveted end results.

Now, in some ways we are simply being playful with semantics as we embark upon the debate of goals vs. dreams, but to delve a bit further into the realm of the universal laws, we rapidly see that the process of setting goals undermines the very intent of their acquisition.

To set a goal, in and of itself, is to illuminate the “lack thereof.”

So to say your “goal” is to drive a fancy sports car is in effect focusing on the lack of that tangible object in your life. And to further set your sights on daily activities that will bring about the acquisition of that fancy car is to continue to focus incessantly on that which you do not currently possess.

In contrast, to “dream” of that fancy sports car in effect puts you in the driver’s seat (pun definitely intended) as you feel the wind in your hair riding the highway of life – embracing the feelings and emotions you associate with being the owner of that prized possession.  Feels totally different, doesn’t it?

And in your “dreams,” as you feel the cool leather seats envelop your body, wrap your hands around the powerful steering wheel and shift into high gear, your reverie does not include pulling off to the side of the road to check off your ‘to do’ list for the day, does it? To the contrary, you are in the zone, at one with your dream – reveling in the moment.

But the astute reader could wisely challenge me at this juncture and raise the notion that sitting around “dreaming” all day about being in that sports car isn’t going to make it magically appear in the driveway, now, is it?

Well… yes, and no – and here’s where the rubber meets the road! (Yes, another shameless pun.)

An Introduction to Milestone Mapping

As an Intuitive Life Coach, as well as in my own personal life, I am a huge proponent of staying focused, organized and mapping out plans for milestones that we seek to accomplish. But at the same time, once we set our sights on a target – I am equally in favor of letting the universe take the wheel. But make no mistake, this is not a prescription for passivity – to the contrary, it’s all about action – inspired action in fact.

The technique that I have found to be most successful in accomplishing results is something I call Milestone Mapping. And it came about as a result of my need to stay organized, yet at the same time, my utter disdain for flowcharts and linear ‘to do’ lists.

We’ve all seen flowcharts that start at the top with a topic or a “goal” and then branch out ad nauseum into a million (or so it seems) infinite legs of action items, steps or yes/no scenarios. But the very nature of a flow chart is a downward path – and metaphysically speaking, spiraling downward is direct contrast to the nature of the universe. Likewise, a ‘to do’ list follows that same symbolic, linear descending direction.

Next came Mind Maps – credited to Tony Buzan in 1996 as a means of note taking and brainstorming. In Buzan’s model, this technique encourages a non-linear approach to learning or mapping out a projects and enhances creativity as a means of sorting out a complicated idea. But a Mind Map, or spider map as it is also often termed, focuses on what exists – so it never quite fit the bill for projections into the future. And that’s where Milestone Mapping comes in.

Learn the detailed process used by
NASA scientists, quantum physicists,
professional athletes and
thousands of successful people to actually believe
and therefore achieve the goals
you may have never thought possible…

Similar to a Mind Map, Milestone Mapping begins in the center with a topic, concept, or “goal,” if we may use that term loosely now based upon our understanding of its inadequacies. But that’s where the similarities end.

When creating your own Milestone Map, you will illustrate your coveted “prize” in the center of your diagram – you can do this with words, illustrations, a colorful picture if you are so inclined, or even chicken scratch will do – there is no right or wrong way to begin as it is representative of your internal being, without formal constraints to impede your progress.

Consider this first step as “setting your intention” with the universe – and as you put pen to paper, embrace the feelings that are associated with already having attained the milestone you are seeking.

Next, draw 3-5 lines emanating out from the center of your intention (spider legs if you will). These lines will be labeled with your “perceived” initial milestones that will be required to bring about the successful realization of your intention. These milestones can be tangible or physical stages or they can represent emotional and mental accomplishments – and likely, it will be a combination of both.

After you have completed this step… STOP!

Yes, that’s right – for this moment in time and space, you simply stop.

And the reason is, if you haven’t already guessed, is that unlike a Mind Map (which fills up the page with that which exists) you are going to be logging events as they happen, in real time.

You see, this is both the beauty and effectiveness of Milestone Mapping – you are the creator of your own reality as you proceed along the fabulous journey of identifying an intention and embracing the realization of the delicious steps along the way as you head toward the pinnacle of your intention. But unlike other techniques, you are not pre-determining the path you will take – that is up to your higher force and how you interact with the universal laws at work along the way.

So as you proceed in filling up this beautiful blank page, you will be logging the milestones as they become apparent to you and each time you add to the white space, you will practice the art of allowing and embrace receiving the gifts that the universe sends your way.

Even if there is a perceived “detour,” you will be able to visually identify how it ties into the bigger picture and accept its existence as part of the journey, instead of meeting it with resistance as you may have previously had the tendency to do.

Each time you reach a particular milestone related to your central “dream/goal/prize” (we can now see that it really doesn’t so much matter what you call it) you will return to your diagram and record its existence.

But more than simply recording it – you will also allow yourself to be engulfed with feelings of warmth and appreciation that you are one step closer to the realization of your target – thus allowing events to unfold as they are meant to.

Now however, you have removed the significance and urgency of the time line – thus reducing  the resistance that often thwarts progress and leaves people feeling uncertain about the entire “ask, believe and receive” process.

So congratulations! You have now discovered the powerful, secret key to the art of remaining “in the moment,” and appreciating the experiences you have along the way by acknowledging and showing gratitude as it happens. And through embracing this technique, you are no longer endeavoring to pre-determine “how” you will arrive – you are simply at ease in learning to enjoy the journey along the way!

Quick Tip Look Who’s Talking…

Every time you ‘reach a milestone’ – you tap into the power of belief.

The more you believe the more momentum you gain.

So, make sure you take the time to celebrate these moments and milestones – they are as important as sunlight and water are to a seed.

“Kristen,
Your audio brought me to tears, because l felt like I was in a dark tunnel and somehow your hand reached in from nowhere gleaming with light and showed me a way out.
Thank you isn’t enough.”
–Irene

13 Responses to “Why Setting Goals Can Keep You From Reaching Your Dreams”

  1. Debra says:

    Excellent article. Makes sense with what I currently belief the law of attraction to be, but it has made it clearer and more logical, with the steps involved, in my mind now. Thanks! :o)

  2. Debra says:

    *believe* the law of attraction to be

  3. Really thought provoking. Eye opening. I dont like the ‘goal’ word. At different times in my life, work, study, personal, Iv always been told to set goals. SMART Goals to make it worse. Iv never really suceeded at making them work as expected. Hence why iv always hated when someone told me to set myself goals. Straight away I was failing. This is just so refreshing what you have just said. I am definitely on to it.
    Thank You.
    Tania.

  4. Charlene says:

    I really appreciated this article and a more “inspired” was to do mind mapping. I would like to have had a bit more information (maybe an example) of “perceived” initial milestones.
    Thank you
    Charlene

  5. Marsha says:

    Kristen,
    Milestones – Marvelous!
    Somewhere in the dark recesses of my memory, I recall doing something like this in grade school and feeling good. When doing it now, I get some youthful really elated feelings. Can’t quite get a handle on those feelings and memories, but I love the ones I getting and making right now.
    Now, instead of a Goal (dirty word) and a To Do List (another dirty word)
    pulling me downward….
    Suddenly I have a Dream and a Picture Plan to propel me out and up!

    Kristen, You are “the Bomb”! Is that too old-fashioned?

    THANKS, Marsha

  6. Balaji says:

    Thanks a lot for such a nice article. Love the beauty of Milestone mapping technique, but i need some clarity to apply correctly. Whether i should label the so called perceived initial milestone at the start in those 3-5 lines drawn from center or they are to be recorded as events manifest. Can u just elaborate ‘logging events as they happen’ with some example. Bcoz, according to my understanding if i record events as they happen, i think there will be huge time gap to relook into the diagram.
    Thanks once again for exploring such a nice concept.

  7. Joseph says:

    Awesome! This is the way it’s supposed to be. I just did it with my intentions of moving to Panama and noticed many things which came about that is directing me to my dreams-turning-reality. Thanks a lot, Stephanie and Kristen! This is amazing! A lesson that I’ll use forever more.

  8. Charlene says:

    Thank you for the article it is such a relief to just be in the moment with no or very little energy invested in a “future state of being successful….Thank you

  9. Gerald says:

    I set myself myself a goal of walking from Melbourne to Brisbane in 40 days without anyone to support me. I called it my Noah’s Ark Walk and if I didn’t arrive in time I would miss my plane home. Many people told me how dangerous it would be, and were horrified that I was not taking a cell phone for emergencies. I listened to the horror stories of what could go wrong. The packs I were to carry contained all that I would need, and were so heavy that two women tried and failed to lift them off the ground. I was to sleep on the sides of roads with the risks of dangerous snakes and poisonous spiders and ferral kangeroos and other concerns.

    I gave myself permission to have a wonderful adventure, to do things spontaneously and not worry how many kms I did per day. I simply believed the universe would guide me. I felt it would be wonderful if I arrived in Brisbane a few days early, so I could explore that city.

    I read up about how to handle a snake bite and worked out which towns I would be passing through, and told people which roads I would be on, and if the Police needed to contact me, they would ask truck drivers where they had seen me as they passed by.

    It turned out to be the greatest adventure of my life, because I let the universe work out the detail. When you forget about timetables, you allow the universe to give you the infinite gifts that you don’t even know exist.

    Show me a goal setter and you have a boring person.

    Set huge goals and let the universe guide you to amazing success. If you think things are impossible, YOU COMMAND YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND TO STOP YOU IN YOUR TRACKS.

    The Wright Bros did not know how to fly, but they held a belief that the universe would show them how to make a plane that could fly like a bird. They opened up their mind so infinite ways could be shown to them, and in 1906 their awesome creation rose into the air and flew.

    Humans are limited by their 5 senses and the experiences they have had in life. When you ask the God Energy (universe) to walk beside you in a Partnership, you learn new ways to have fun on Planet Earth.

    The universe gets very, very excited when we decide we could do with some help. Our job is to DECIDE WHAT WE WANT, then feel like it is already so, and the Universe looks up it’s dictionary on the trillions of ways that it can help us.

    The universe (God) does not send you an invoice for it’s help – all the help is free, you just have to ASK AND RECEIVE and let the manifestation take place in the fullness of time.

    When you believe that you have the new car already, you vibrate a happiness in your heart, which sends out the correct vibrations and the car comes magically into your life. If you wish for a car, you vibrate I haven’t got it, so it stays hidden.

    If you want to meet someone, they won’t show up until you act with excitement that you are already talking to them right now. You vibrate that you have them already, so they arrive by courier sent from the universe.

    If you feel rich, “more will be added”.
    If you feel poor, “even that can be taken from you” because you will be sent more bills.

    Doubts are instructions to stop abundance and good things flowing into your life.

    “For what we are to receive, may the Lord make us truly thankful”.

    If you are grateful for the things and people in your life, you vibrate that message to the universe and more good things will come back to you.

    Count your blessings and you become happier automatically.

    Count up all the bad things in your life, and your mind will focus on noticing more bad things to put on your list.

    The quality of your life is determined by whether you count your blessing or count the things that annoy you.

    You can choose to be angry with the world and hold grudges, but all that will do is make you bitter and twisted with more hate. You will poison your body water, and cause your own bad health because THAT WAS THE VIBRATION YOU SENT OUT TO THE WORLD.

    Be a Good Samaraton and help people with no expectation of reward, and you will soon be surprised how much better your life becomes. The universe pays you for helping others.

  10. Fabio says:

    Thank you for this wonderful article.
    It changed my mind regarding setting goals, which I’ve always been taught to do in order to achieve success!
    I’ll be visiting the site more often to check for other great artciles I know you have in store.
    Regards from Sao Paulo, Brazil

    Fabio

  11. Thank you so much for giving me another fabulous resource and way of explaining to people who are stuck on having weight loss goals..

    I always find that my clients love to have this goal of being a size ??? and then really all they are doing is focussing on what they aren’t.. They might still lose weight and get healthy but they sabotage themselves if they dont get to there goal by a certain date instead of appreciating how far they have come in the journey… I am getting everyone to do one of these Maps straight away thanks again 🙂

  12. Not really sure if I understand how to make a mind map – maybe an example would help. But, I am going to give it a try! Thanks for giving me another way of dealing with my future hopes.

  13. Rod Lawless says:

    This makes a lot of sense. I know that if you focus too much on a goal it becomes attached to you in a non-specific way. It cannot be brought to fruition as the ‘Universe’ hasn’t got a full hold on it. Letting go of the idea of your goals is a tricky thing as they are too caught up in desire. The trick is to want yet let go of the want. I have done this with small goals but the real important ones get stuck on us. Dreaming may be the way forward as we don’t really hold onto our daydreams until they become part of the desire process. I still haven’t worked out how to achieve the state of non-atachment.

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