Opportunity and fear…

Time to Go Big…

Fear was on my mind on my walk today, I was thinking about a coaching client of mine.

She is faced with an opportunity right now and when it was brought to her she was immediately hit with fear.

On our call today, she told me all of the wild thoughts that threw themselves at her at warp speed when she first got the call with this opportunity.

Before I share her thoughts with you (and yes, she gave me approval to do so) I feel it’s important to know that there is NO MONEY at stake, there are NO CONTRACTS being signed, DEATH could not be a result, hell INJURY isn’t even a possibility.

Back to her attacking thoughts…these are the primary thoughts that hurled themselves at her…

• ‘What if it only seems like an opportunity but it’s not?’
• ‘What if it’s too much work and doesn’t fit into my life how I want it to?”
• “What if I hate it?”
• “What if it fails?”
• “What if I waste my time?’

…You get the idea.

Fear is such a huge factor in our lives…it becomes a great reason NOT to do things, get involved, connect, try…live.

The funny thing to me is how we phrase our fears…here are some examples of what we tell ourselves…

• ‘I’m scared to fly’
  (No you’re not…you’re scared to die)
• ‘I’m scared to love’
  (No you’re not…you’re scared that you won’t be loved back)
• ‘I’m scared to try a new sport, language, hobby, business.’
  (No you’re not your scared you’ll look stupid)
• ‘I’m scared to start my own business.’
  (No you’re not…you’re scared you’ll fail)
• ‘I’m scared to reach out to that casting director’
  (No you’re not…you’re scared they’ll tell you you’re not talented)
• ‘I’m scared to tell them how much I love them’
  (No you’re not…you’re scared they won’t care)
• ‘I’m scared to commit to __________.’
  (No you’re not, you’re scared if you commit you lose the power to choose)

And the list goes on…

We attach fear to the wrong thing…we attach it to the action when really what we are scared of is some potential negative feeling/emotion/result.

If we took EVERYTHING that anyone claims they are scared of I guarantee it boils down to a few basic fears:

• Fear of death or injury (to you or someone you love).
• Fear of rejection
• Fear of looking stupid
• Fear of failure

Boiled down even further…what we are scared of in one word is PAIN.

And the thing about people is, for the most part, we will most likely take action to avoid PAIN than we will to achieve pleasure.

BUT BUT BUT

Isn’t living life in a LESS THAN way PAINFUL?

It is for me…it sucks…I hate it…I wish I got zapped with electricity every time I chose the pain of safety over the possibility of pain with something new or out of the box that could bring me great joy.

That’s what I mean by ‘Go Big’…to me ‘Going Big’ means choosing to go toward what has a chance to bring me great joy even though it may not…because if I don’t ‘Go Big’ I am guaranteed 1 thing and 1 thing only, and that is the pain of living a life that is ‘less than’.

So my questions for you today are:

What does ‘Go Big’ mean to you?

Remember the Go Big End of Year Challenge: In what small way (maybe in less than 15 minutes) can you push your comfort zone and choose to ‘Go Big’ today?

Go Big!

Kristen

P.S. My Go Big VIP Program is filling up and I am doing something special.  The next 50 people that join and commit to ‘Go Big Now’ and not wait until after the holidays will get a special 1-on-1 strategy session with me in January to give you that extra advantage you need to make 2010 the best it can be. Get on board as one of the next 50 here: http://www.gobigcoach.com/gobignow

Success in 15 minutes a day — will you commit to yourself?

Experiment time!

There are 39 days left in 2009…

I thought an experiment to see how far you can move forward while still enjoying the holiday season was appropriate!

First let me ask you this question…

If I told you that you could significantly move your life forward between now and January 1, 2010 and it would only take 15 minutes a day…

Would you commit to dedicating 15 minutes a day EVERY DAY for the next 39 days?

I’m going to assume you answered ‘Yes’!

So this is what we are going to do…

Starting today and going through Dec. 31, 2009 I want you to do 1 thing each day to move yourself forward…

Here are the rules:

• You MUST do 1 thing each day
• The ‘Thing’ you do MUST take 15 minutes or less to do…
• The ‘Thing’ you do MUST push your comfort zone
• The ‘Thing’ you do MUST make you feel like you have somehow moved yourself forward toward one of your goals

Got it?

It is up to you if you are going to focus on one area of your life to move forward for the next 39 days or if you are going to focus in several directions…

Either way, you WILL see a huge difference IF you absolutely commit to do this AND you follow through.

To help you out, I want you to leave a comment now stating that you are taking part in the challenge and what your focus is.  I also want you to tell me what it is you will do today.

This is another case of you are either in or you aren’t…

I know it’s tough love…but if you are just going to try to commit 15 minutes a day, you aren’t going to get where you want to go…

15 minutes…to move toward the life of your dreams…

• I KNOW you can do this…
• Commit to it now…
• Leave a comment…
• Tell me you’re in…
• Tell me your focus…
• Tell me what you will do today!

Have fun with this!!

YOU ARE EXTRAORDINARY!

Go Big!

Kristen

P.S. Accountability is the key to success…get into my group program and I’ll hold you accountable and get on the phone with you every month to make sure you are on the right path.  Let’s shift your success from a maybe to a definite!  The monthly call is coming up so get in now…

http://www.gobigcoach.com/gobignow

One is NOT the same as the other!

There seems to be some confusion…

And I’m ready to clear it up!

I wrote a post the other day about a phrase that can help you turn things around quickly.

Click here if you haven’t read it yet

What’s the phrase?

“How can I help you?”

Why was I blogging about it?

A reader wanted to know the short answer to how I first went to over $10,000/month (from $1200/month).

And I told him it was by finding people who were where I wanted to be and asking them the question…

“How can I help you?”

Here’s where the confusion comes in…

I have received more emails than I can count from my wonderful subscribers asking 2 main questions.

1. How can I possibly get close enough to the people who are where I want to be to ask them this question?
2. How do I convince the people who are where I want to be that I can help them and that they should pay me for it?

Okay…

Question #1: I am going to write a WHOLE separate post on this later this week as this is HUGE and deserves some energy!

Question #2: Here’s my answer…

The statement, “This is how I can help you!”

IS NOT THE SAME as

“How can I help you?”

Don’t sell them…

Ask them…

What do they need? And how can you help them achieve that need?

THIS is a huge lesson for anything…

I don’t care what business you are in…

If you forget to ask people what they need your success will be little or at the least MUCH LESS than it could be.

• “How can I help you?”
• “What do you need?”
• “What is missing for you right now?”
• “If you could waive a magic wand, what would you instantly make different?”

Those are all different versions of the question…

Find out what they need AND THEN figure out how you can help bring that to them…

I promise that next time I will give you some answers on how to approach the people who might seem out of reach…

Leave me a comment and tell me at least 1 person you can go to and ask this question…

Go Big!

Kristen

These 7 Words Can Change Your Life

I had an interesting experience one morning a while back, and it
just popped into my mind as a good thing to write about.

Ok…so, on this morning about a year ago, I rode my bike 2 miles
to sign up for a new gym at 6:30 am and when I walked in the door
there was a smiley, 20ish girl behind the desk.

I smiled and told her I had spoken with the Gym Manager on Friday
and that I just needed to see the gym before I signed up…she
thought that was great and we stood there smiling at each other
until she told me that the problem was that there was no one there
to show me around or take my info for a membership.

Negative thoughts started flying through my head:

‘Who is she to waste my time, I spoke with the Gym Manager, do you
know who I am, I just rode my bike 2 miles to get here, I can’t
come in the middle of the day, I won’t come back, maybe I should
threaten to take my business elsewhere, why is she staring at me so
blankly, why isn’t she trying to come up with a solution…’

And then she smiled again and said, ‘I’m so sorry, it’s just that
I’m the only one here and I’ll get in trouble if I leave the desk
to show you around and I can’t let you go by yourself because of
the liability…’

And in that moment I realized she wasn’t the bad guy…she was doing
everything she could and was waiting for me to yell at her…and so I
didn’t…instead I remembered something my mother taught me…it’s a
simple phrase but it’s so rare that we stop and use it…and it’s this…

‘I’m hoping you can help me out…’

Literally the second those 7 words came out of my mouth she
straightened up, leaned in and a look of determination came across
her face…

I continued, ‘I completely see how difficult your position is and
the last thing I want to do is make things worse so I wonder if
there is any way we can make this happen without you getting in
trouble?’

Her head cocked to the side like a cocker spaniel…

I kept going, ‘I know you can’t leave the desk…and I know I can’t
walk around alone because of the liability…I am more than happy to
sign something to waive that…’

Suddenly there was a waiver form in front of me accompanied by a
faint whisper, ‘If you just fill this out and promise not to work
out and try not to fall in the pool…’

I said nothing and started filling out the form…when I completed it
I said, ‘I won’t even go near the pool.’

She smiled and when I returned 10 minutes later she looked very
relieved.

To be honest I probably could have bullied this girl into letting
me do the same thing…but that would have sucked for both of us…
‘I’m hoping you can help me out…’

7 powerful words…and so true…imagine using those words to get the same
results that you normally have to get by yelling and
screaming…imagine using those words to get results that you might
never have gotten because you sheepishly walked away denied…imagine
how you would feel if someone honestly said those words to
you…wouldn’t you want to help if you could?

What I like about it, is saying this immediately puts you and the
other person on the same team instead of against each other.

So my question to you is:

What are the times that consistently come up in your life where this phrase may
be a stronger and more fruitful choice?

Leave me a comment and let me know!

Go Big!

Kristen

kristen@lawofattractionkey.com